


The Con Artist

by p4vl0vsdaught3r



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: (both literally and of hearts), Alternate Universe - Human, Con Artists, Crime, Drama, F/F, F/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Original Character(s), Romance, Stealing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:50:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4863773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p4vl0vsdaught3r/pseuds/p4vl0vsdaught3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Carmilla is going to stay, she needs a place to sleep after all - but she'll be gone before anybody notices. That's what she does after all. Carmilla Karnstein is a ghost. She sneaks into people's lives and leaves in the same manner. Leaving nothing more behind than vague memories, hazy images of a person they thought they knew. In another life she might have been an actress, but in this life her job is stealing people's most valuable belongings. And she's damn good at it."</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Carmilla is a crook and Laura is oblivious as fuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is the Beginning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for non-consensual drug use, especially of the so called date rape drugs - no rape/non-con sexual relations however.
> 
> Since I guess, I am one of those writers, I am just going to put songs at the beginning of each chapter that I listened to while writing and that somewhat inspired me. Check out [ This is the Beginning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaenB-_crmE) by BOY.

His hands are fumbling with the zipper of her pants, while his mouth is still preventing Carmilla from saying anything. His kisses are rough; he bites her lips almost breaking the skin. She uses her hands to put some distance between them. 

„Alright Champ, not so fast,“ Carmilla says. He is still panting furiously; his hand halfway down her pants and his body still trapping her effectively against the hard wood of the door to his apartment; he's pressed up against her, the little shove she gave him barely gave her enough space to breathe. It's not the most comfortable position to be in and she doesn't really feel like being fingered in front of the guy's house. She takes his hand that is still unsuccessfully trying to sneak it's way into her pants. „Let's go inside, babe.“

He nods, his eyes glassy. She made sure that he didn't get completely wasted, so it's probably mostly the excitement of having a female pressed up against him. He gets his keys out and his hands shake violently, while he tries to open the door. Carmilla watches him over his shoulder and can't help but smile. Men are so easy. 

As soon as the door open, he takes her hand and drags her inside, pulling the door close behind them. Again her back crashes against the hard wood - though this time they are at least inside. He starts kissing her again. Damn, he's eager. She hears the clanking of the keys, when his key ring falls to the floor. He doesn't seem to care. His hands are roaming her body again, utterly lost in the touches.

She uses her hands to give his shoulders a push, giving herself some space to herself. Carmilla leans against him and gives him one last, tender kiss, before she wriggles herself completely out of his grasp. She takes his hand that is still exploring every inch of her body he can reach and drags him after her, farther into the apartment.

„Wow, this is amazing,“ she says.

„Huh?“ he asks indistinctly. She turns around, noticing that his eyes are glued to her ass. She can't really blame him, there is a reason she chose to wear her cutest pair of leather pants after all. 

„Your apartment. It's beautiful, cutie. What is it that you do again?“

„Umm, I... I'm a stock broker.“

Right. She remembers him telling her. Right before he started going into some details about numbers, corporations, sales and shares. It didn't get any more boring than that. 

„Could you get us a drink? Some champagne maybe... to celebrate?“

He nods eagerly. She's suddenly reminded of a stray dog that she had nearly adopted a few years back. Well, that was before it got hit by a truck and ripped into a million pieces. He kisses her again, then takes her hand to show her into the living room.

"I'll just put on some music, and then we can get comfortable." 

He turns the lights on, and then fumbles at stereo. Carmilla uses the moment to take a quick glance around the room... assessing everything. It's not what she expected. Most guys like him had only the bare necessities in their apartments. White walls, basic furniture they ordered from some high class shop, maybe a picture or two, but this guy. The place actually looked like an actual human being was living here. 

The cabinet next to the huge flatscreen TV was filled with books, actual books with pages out of paper and words written in ink. She resists the urge to get up and take a closer look reminding herself she will have more than enough time to snoop around later. There are also some DVD boxes and video games in the cabinet. 

The guy is still going through the CD rack, apparently not finding what he is looking for. He sighs and puts on some classical music. He didn't seem like the type, but she isn't about to complain, when she hears the first notes of one of Beethoven's earlier symphonies.

“Mhhh, damn; it's the only CD I have got,” he says turning around again. He smiles sheepishly.

“It's cool.”

„Great. I'll be back in a second. Don't run away,“ he pleads. She laughs, promsing she won't do such a thing.

Carmilla shrugs out of her leather jacket, while taking the flask that was safely tucked away in a hidden pocket out. She puts it into her back pocket. Letting the jacket fall onto the armrest, she sits on the couch. The leather squeaks, when she moves. It must be pretty new to the apartment. Most of the stuff looks new. He can't be living here for very long. 

The guy comes back only minutes later balancing two glasses of sparkling champagne in his hands. He grins at her, appearing much younger than he actually is. There's something innocent about him. Carmilla smiles back - a forced, sad smile, but of course he doesn't notice. 

„Thank you.“ She takes the glasses from him and puts them on the table. „You know, I'm really glad I met you...“ She tries to remember his name, but realizes that she forgot it. So much for being professional. „You should know I don't normally do this. I mean, I have never done this before, but you're just so... you are special.“ She stumbles over her words, and doesn't look at his eyes. A moment later she feels his hands on her chin, when he angles her face up to look at him.

“Neither do I.” She smiles at him. She has to fight the need to roll her eyes at the guy. She knows that the only reason he went to the bar tonight was to get laid, he wasn't fooling anyone. But at the same time she sees the way his eyes light up at her words. She knows it's not only desire and lust, the guy has been alone for a long time. He needs to feel wanted, loved. She smiles and softly caresses his cheek, before leaning in again.

„Close your eyes.“

He does. The kiss is much softer than everything they have shared this evening. The guy runs his fingers through her hair. Carmilla keeps her eyes open, watching him intently. She tilts her head, locating the glasses on the table. The guy still has his eyes closed and seems completely lost in their kiss, she uses her left hand to silently pop open the flask and empties it into the glass. 

Quickly she hides the flask again, her movements so smooth that he doesn't even notice a thing. That was easy. She smiles against his lips, and he copies the motion. She sits back. He's still grinning like the idiot he is.

She takes the glasses from the table and hands him his. „To us!“

They clink their glasses and then he gulps down the champagne in one swallow. Money didn't always mean that they had manners. He puts the glass back, and watches her. Carmilla smiles at him knowing that the drug won't take long until it's effect will become apparent. She only takes a sip from her glass. She never really understood the appeal of alcohol anyway. 

*~*~*

His speech is slowly becoming slurred, the words harder to find, the mouth no longer able to form the right syllables. Sh quickly checks her watch, it didn't even take ten minutes. She catches his hand mid air, while he tries to grab on to something, anything. 

„Tha- I,“ he starts, but never finishes whatever it was that he was about to say. His lids flutter, and he looks around the room bewildered. She wonders what he is seeing. He doesn't look panicked, only befuddled. 

„Don't fight it, sweetie, it's okay. Your tired, just lie down, come on.“ She helps him lie back on the sofa; he doesn't put up a fight. She takes of his shoes, before putting his legs on the sofa as well. „That's good. You are good.“

He blinks a few times, trying to make out more than vague shadows in front of him. Carmilla massages his temples, trying to give him even a little bit of comfort, before he will disappear into the world of nothingness. His hands twitch, but don't move. 

She hates this part. She hates how familiar it feels, how she can so easily think herself into their position. She mumbles some soothing words, knowing that he won't be able to hear them anymore. His eyes have fluttered close, in his condition it takes too much effort to keep them open. She stays a while longer, running her fingers through his hair and holding his hand. 

They look always so peaceful - like they have no worry in the world, like everything is perfect. "You are okay," she whispers in his ears. He doesn't react any longer. His body is just still, he is completely gone. 

She gets up, getting a blanket to put over him, tucking him in. She likes him. He is cute. For a douchebag that habitually picked up girls at the local bar, when his girlfriend was away. There has to be a girl. Maybe even a wife. She noticed the cloak at the coat rack, a very female cloak. But most of all this doesn't look like the apartment of a bachelor.

She's been in enough of those to tell the difference. No, somebody took a lot of time and effort to turn this into a home. There was a lot of decor around the flat, even some hand painted pictured on the walls, small things, little figurines and scented fucking candles. This wasn't the work of the guy, this must have been his girlfriend. Or his mother. Either way, she was going to find out. 

Before anything else, she's curious as to what she'll find in his apartment. She had noticed his watch, that will probably make her a couple of hundred bucks. But there has to be more. If she's right, and he has a girlfriend or even a wife living with him, her jewlery must be around somewhere. But her jackpot, the only reason she even let the guy woo her still lay on the floor, where he dropped the keys. The keys to his brand spanking new Mustang. She fell in love with the car as soon as she saw him navigate it through the parking garage. A damn shame that she couldn't keep it. When she watched him arrive in his shiny, new Mustang at the bar, she knew that he was the guy for the night.

Her palms get sweaty, when she imagines touching the leather of the steering wheel. She had tried to get the guy to let her drive his baby home, but he had just laughed and told her to get into the passenger seat. Prick. She would take the car for a short trip, before selling it. She wanted to, no she needed to know how it felt to drive the car.

She sighs, finally getting up to get on with it. 

Knowing that she has all the time in the world, she takes the glasses to the kitchen first. Getting rid of the most obvious evidence. She pours the spiked champagne into the sink, then proceeds to clean the dirty glasses. She searches the cupboards to put the glasses back where they belong. Once she's gone, there will be no more evidence of her ever being here. She remembers the lipstick stain she left on his shirt, but she'll take care of that later.

She wanders around the room, running her fingers over the books. Mostly crime dramas, thrillers, but also a lot of romance novels. Either he is a secret romantic, or these belong to the girl in his life. She takes some more time to inspect the apartment. And she's right. She finds some jewelry that is most definitely not the guys. It's in a cute, little pirate chest on a cupboard in the living room surrounded by loads of pictures. She looks at each one of them.

She likes to get to know her... targets. Not only because she is nosy as fuck, but also because most of the times the people she steals from have secrets. Secrets they never want anybody to find out. She has to smile when she remembers the photos and evidence she has on her phone, that kept a lot of those guys from ever filing a report. It's her fail safe. 

She likes the intimacy that this offers her. It's the only intimacy she allows herself. She likes to get to know them, every little part of their life. Every secret they hide in the darkest corner of their closets. She still finds them.  Most of the guys she steals from are pigs. Either cheating on a wife, at least twice her age and treat her like she's worth shit. She never feels bad about any of them.

The guy's different. The con only started, because of his car. He was only a few years older than her for a chance and easy to talk to. She glaces at his figure on the sofa. He's still out cold. She thought she heard something, but she must be imagining things, since he is still exactly where she left him.

She turns back to the framed pictures. Surprisingly the guy is in none of them. She picks one of the pictures up. It features a petite, brunette girl surrounded by two huge guys in some kind of jerseys. Football players maybe? She doesn't care for sports, so she wouldn't know.

„Don't move!“ a small voice suddenly says. Carmilla winces. The girlfriend? Why would the douche bag bring her here, if his girlfriend was home? Had he planned for this to be a little ménage à trois? _Fuck. Fuck._ This was not part of the fucking plan.

There was nobody supposed to be here. The guy had said he lived alone and that they would have the apartment all to themselves. She wasn't stupid, she always made sure beforehand that she wouldn't be caught. Believing guys when all they wanted to was get laid, wasn't the smartest move on her part she realized.

Carmilla halts and puts the frame back.

„Who are you? And what in hell or Hogwarts are you doing in my apartment?“

Despite the dire situation she somehow found herself in, Carmilla can't help smiling at her choice of words. But wait... her apartment? Something was seriously going wrong. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go.

„I'm sorry, cupcake. I'm...,“ she says trying to sound as harmless as she can. She starts to move around, but the girl stops her.

„Don't. Don't turn around.“ Carmilla doesn't, for all she knows the girl has a gun leveled at her head. She's not about to risk getting shot in the face. „I'll call the police and then you can start explaining. No funny business, do you understand? I have a weapon.“

Carmilla can't risk that. She doesn't do police, she can't get caught.

„There is no need to call the police,“ she says as calmly as possible. Carmilla puts her hands up in the air, trying to appear even less dangerous. „I'm going to turn around now, don't do anything you will regret later, sweetheart.“

She turns. The girl from the photo is standing on the other side of the room watching her wearily. She's tiny. In one of her hands she's holding a spatula, in the other a huge can of either pepper spray or air freshener. So, no gun. And honestly, that's her choice of weapons? If Carmilla gets caught because of this... ridiculous girl, she'll never forgive herself. She's faced far worse threats than a girl waving a spatula at her.

She is only wearing a huge tee that doesn't leave much open for imagination. It barely covers her panties, Carmilla can see some red fabric under the shirt. Her hair is a mess, she must have been sleeping. She's pretty. No scratch that, she is beautiful.

The guy is an idiot.

„I said, don't...,“ the girl starts, but she doesn't finish her sentence. Her eyes dart to the phone that is only a meter away. Carmilla wages her chances of getting there before the girl is able to dial 911. She could probably make it, but she won't let it come to that. She isn't a con artist for nothing. Up until now she's been able to talk herself out of every imaginable situation.

„Just calm down, okay... I'm very, very sorry. I didn't know that this was your place. I was invited. I didn't break in and I'm not a burglar, if that's what you are thinking.“ The girl tilts her head, not really believing what Carmilla is telling her, but at the same time she has stopped moving towards the phone. „I didn't mean to scare you. Fuck, I'm so terribly sorry. He told me that this was his apartment.“

„He?“ the girl squints her eyes.

Now would be there right moment to remember the name of Mr. Stock Broker, but Carmilla is lost. She has to try to appease the girlfriend, before she was going to jump at her throat. „Your boyfriend? I was just bringing him home, we met at a bar. He was nice, that's all I swear; but I guess he had too much too drink, so I offered to drive him home. Nothing happened, I promise.“ Granted this isn't her best, but she doesn't have much to work with. 

„I don't think I'm following. I don't have a boyfriend and I live alone, nobody...“ The girl stops. This is the moment she realizes that they are in fact not alone here, but that there is an unconscious figure lying on the sofa. She recognizes him at once. 

„Wilson,“ her voice is worried.

Her eyes dart from Carmilla to the unconscious Wilson that is tucked into a blanket and has a blank expression on his face. Carmilla can only imagine what is going on in her mind. Her eyes display a whirlwind of emotions. 

"He passed out once we got here. Wilson told me he lived here... he had a key, so I had no reason to doubt him."

In the end, she puts the spatula down, and quickly scurries towards him; though she still cradles the spray bottle in her hand. Apparently she chose to believe Carmilla. Carmilla smiles in triumph. Now she needs to get the fuck out of there. 

The girl kneels down next to the guy. She is gently slapping his cheeks, trying to wake Wilson up, but he doesn't stir. Of course he doesn't. It will take hours, before he will come to his senses again, the drugs made sure of that.

„What's wrong with him?“ she asks uneasy.

„He just had a few drinks too much. At least as far as I know.“

The girl nods and looks at her friend again.

„He told me he stopped, he's such an idiot.“ Even though she seems angry at her friend, she still sweeps the hair out of his face and tucks him in again. Alright, so Wilson had dabbled in drugs before. She sighs a breath of relief; otherwise it might be hard to explain the situation.

„I haven't had the pleasure of him passing out in my flat since college. I'm sorry for, you know,“ she says raising the hand that is still holding the bottle. „Thank you for bringing him here, I guess. I just don't understand why he would tell you to bring him here, instead of his own flat.“

„He doesn't live here? With you?“ She is still confused by that as well. It is apparent that they aren't a couple, but rather good friends. Luckily. She doesn't think, she could have dealt with a jealous girlfriend or wife tonight. He told her he lived alone; he must have thought his friend was gone for the night.

„No. Wilson's an old friend. I have to travel a lot for work. I gave him a key to look after my cat, when I'm gone. His condo is only a few streets away.“

Carmilla nods; she knows exactly why he brought her here. If you wanted to impress a girl you took her to a place like this; not to your own sad, one room flat full of empty pizza boxes and dirty clothes. She wonders how many random chicks this Wilson had fucked in his friend's bed.

„Maybe he thought you weren't home.“

„Why would that matter... Oh... oh,“ the girl must have come to the same conclusion. Carmilla remembers the lipstick stain she left on his collar. She is pretty certain that the girl had noticed how messy his hair was as well. „I had an appointment in Chicago today, but it got postponed last minute.“

The girl looks at her with wide eyes. Carmilla tries to imagine what she's thinking about. Is she imagining Wilson and her having sex in her own bed? Carmilla's throat suddenly feels rough, when images invade her mind. She's naked in the stranger's bed, but the person trailing kissed down her leg is not the guy, but the cute, brunette girl. Fuck. She shakes her head willing the images to get the fuck out of her head.

It's been a long time since she wanted somebody. She had kissed and fucked so many people in her time, that she hadn't felt anything for, that attraction had stopped to matter along the way. If anything attraction was dangerous.

„Oh god, I'm mortified,“ Carmilla says burying her face in her hands still playing the part of the innocent girl. She needed to get out of there. „I'm really sorry. For everything. I'll just, you know let myself out, now that I know he is in capable hands.“

She shoots the girl one last look; she's watching Carmilla her mouth slightly agape like she wants to say something, but doesn't know how to. She hurries through the room, when she is in the hall, she notices the key chain that's still where the guy dropped it. Maybe the night wasn't a waste after all. She could still take his car, that is parked on the street in front of the building. For a moment she thinks of the money his Mustang would pay, but she quickly shakes the thought off. The girl had seen her and she would most definitely remember her. She couldn't risk it.

„Wait!“ the girl shouts after her. „You forgot your jacket.“

The girl hands her the jacket. Carmilla can't believe that she nearly left her jacket. She remembers the second vial that is still safely tucked inside the hidden pocket. She is an idiot. She smiles again at the girl and mumbles a thank you. She already has her hand on the door handle, when the girl calls her up again.

„I can't let you leave like that,“ she says her arms crossed in front of her chest, „I mean, do you even have a way to get home?“

Home. _Home_. She hasn't had a home since she was seventeen years old.

„I'll just get a cab.“ She checked out of the hotel she had been staying in the last couple of days this morning, so she'll probably sleep in her car that is still in a parking garage downtown. She had planned to get out of this damned city after tonight's con.

„I could drive you.“

„No, it's okay. Really,“ she says quickly, desperately. Carmilla makes the mistake to look at the girl again. Somehow her shirt has become even shorter, so that she is now able to see the red, silk lingerie beneath it. God, she can't take her eyes of the girl.

This is not good. 

„It's no problem. It's the least I can do. Without you Wilson would probably spend the night freezing to death on a park bench.“ Finally Carmilla is able to take her eyes off the girl, her words have the same effect as a cold shower. She remembers how she drugged the girl's friend and tried to rob her. And the girl is a fucking angel, she acts like she has never done anything remotely impure in her whole life.

„No, I'm okay. I'm a big girl.“ Carmilla twists the handle, swinging the door open. She doesn't turn around, she can't bear to look at the girl any longer. She is everything Carmilla is not.

Innocence has always appealed to her.

The girl catches her hand, when she takes a step into the stairwell. Carmilla turns around swiftly and the girl lets her hand fall again appearing flustered.

„Sorry,” she mumbles, “is there anything you want me to tell Wilson, when he wakes up?“

Carmilla is surprised for a second. There is nothing she has to say to the guy. It's not like he means anything to her. The girl watches her, and Carmilla realizes that she must think that she was still into her friend. She remembers the marks she has left on his shirt and probably on his neck as well.

„No, I... Just tell him I say hi.“

„I don't even know your name.“

Carmilla hesitates for a second. There are a million names she could tell the girl. She had been so many persons before, she's had so many names, so many faces.

„I'm Carmilla,“ she finally says. It's not the name she was born with, but it's the only name that she ever felt was hers.

The girl smiles. „It's nice to meet you, Carmilla. I'm Laura.“

She doesn't hold out her hand or shows any inclination to do so whatsoever. Carmilla nods, but doesn't leave. This doesn't feel like the end of a conversation, but like the beginning of one.

Laura notices her hesitation. „You don't have a place to stay, have you?“ Carmilla blinks at her, not really knowing how to react. It feels like this Laura can see right through her. She shakes her head trying to clear her mind. 

„Of course I do.“ They both know she's lying.

„I'm sorry, Carmilla. I don't want to impose, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. It's just... I don't like the idea of you walking the streets on your own. There are a lot of fucked up people out there.“ Laura doesn't know that Carmilla is one of them. „I have a guest room, you know. If you want you can stay the night, it's no big deal.“

„I can't. Besides I have a place.“ She thinks of the many nights she spent sleeping in her car. She's used to it by now.

„Still. You helped my friend, I just want to return the favor.“

“I didn't help, because I expected something in return,” Carmilla shoots back with more bite than she intended. 

“I didn't mean it like that, I just thought...” she trails off. 

There is some commotion in the stairwell. Somebody else is coming home, noisily climbing up the stairs. Carmilla hears a rough laugh, they are probably drunk judging by how slurred their speech is. She is still standing at the threshold unsure of how to proceed. The problem is that she wants to stay. At the moment she wants nothing more than to say yes. But she can't risk Wilson remembering anything from last night, or getting to close. She hasn't survived so long, because she was taking chances.

"Look, Carmilla," Laura starts anew. "I... at least let me call you a cab. I-"

Two burly guys make it to the floor. They nod at her and she steps out of the way to let them pass. One of them halts and stares at her. She needs a moment to understand that he isn't leering at her, but at the still barely dressed Laura.

She steps in between them blocking the girl from his view.

„Keep your eyes to yourself, you fucking creep.“

She takes a step into the flat and closes the door behind her. She can hear the mumbled voices of the guys on the other side, they laugh loudly and then the voices become indistinguishable. Moments later she hears a door close above them.

„So, you're staying. Great! Come on, I'll show you the room.“

„I guess so.“ Carmilla has to fight the instinct to yank open the door and run away. _It's just a night_ , she tells herself. It's certainly better than the backside of her car.

She follows Laura. Totally not checking out her ass on the way. Not even a little bit. She wonders if the other girl works out, it certainly looks like she does.

She's going to stay, she needs a place to sleep after all. But she'll be gone before anybody notices. That's what she does after all. Carmilla Karnstein is a ghost. She sneaks into peoples lives and leaves in the same manner. Leaving nothing more behind than vague memories, hazy images of a person they barely knew and stolen riches.

This girl is no different. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story was just something that popped into my mind and I had to write it down on (digital) paper. I don't really know if it is worth continuing at all. Whatcha say?


	2. ... of anything you want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is. Chapter two, I did a lot of brainstorming and outlining and the story is developing in a direction I couldn't have predicted, when I started. Oh, well nothing for you to worry about. Enjoy!
> 
> This chapter was written to the soundtrack of [ Hold on ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BJ7AYqAhyo) by Sol Heilo.

When Carmilla woke up after her peaceful slumber, it was the first time in weeks that she felt truly rested. Gathering her thing and quickly changing into yesterday's clothes, she had every intention of just getting the fuck out of the girl's flat. Only then did it occur to her that her purse was missing. Her fucking purse with her forged passports, a handful of credit cards and most importantly her phone. The phone that had everything on it. She left it in the Mustang. She had been certain that the con would go as planned that she felt no need to take her most valuable belongings with her. 

Having no other choice than to face Laura and Wilson again, she groans. She is not ready to answer any questions. Questions the both of them will certainly have. Pulling her jacket on, she opens the door. It's still early, maybe they will both still be asleep. She could just take his keys, get her purse and toss the keys into Laura's mailbox for her to find. 

Somebody is already awake. Of fucking course.

There are already voices in the kitchen. Carmilla halts at the threshold trying to make out what they are saying, before she enters. It's Laura and another woman who are talking in hushed voices. She can't make out what they are saying to each other. After a moment of hesitation, she heads into the room. 

Laura and another woman are sitting at the small table opposite of each other. Each of them has a steaming mug in front of them and Laura's elbows are propped on the table, she's leaning on her hands towards the other woman. Carmilla can't see more of the other woman than her long red hair. Laura is staring at the other woman and doesn't even notice Carmilla.  

Carmilla has to fight the urge to just run away, when she catches sight of the police uniform that is lazily draped over the chair, the redhead is sitting on. Instead she forces a smile onto her face.

“Good morning,” Carmilla says. In unison two heads turn in her direction. They hadn't noticed her before, but now both women are staring at her. While Laura looks happy to see her, a small smile playing around her lips, the other woman shoots a sour glance in her direction. The pretty redhead must be a few years older as both she and Laura, or maybe it's just the stern expression on her face that makes her appear older.  

“Hey, good morning... Carmilla.” Carmilla likes the way the Laura says her name; she's suddenly very glad that she told her _this_ name, instead one of her other aliases. Though it shouldn't really matter, she wasn't going to spend one second longer her than absolutely necessary. Laura smiles at her, the same bright innocent smile that had made Carmilla's heart drop the day before. 

The other woman gets up from her seat. She halts in front of Carmilla and fuck, she is tall. Carmilla has to crank her hand up to look the other woman in the eye. The ginger giant holds her hand out. She doesn't look very happy about her presence. Reluctantly Carmilla shakes her hand, the redhead's grasp hard, unrelenting. 

“You must be Carmilla.”

“Must I be?” Carmilla takes her hand back, stretching her fingers that hurt from the way the woman squeezed her hand. The redhead notices and smirks at Carmilla's obvious discomfort. 

“Not a morning person, huh? I am Danny Lawrence. Laura's... friend.” The way she emphasizes the word _friend_  makes it obvious that she is more than a friend. Carmilla rolls her eyes at the blatant claim of possession over Laura. Just her luck, to navigate herself in between a pretty girl and her jealous girlfriend. Though for some reason the prospect of Laura being gay makes her feel giddy. 

She tries not to think about what that means. 

“Awesome,” Carmilla answers unenthusiastically, but manages a smile. The redhead is right, she is not a morning person. Not at all. But that is not the reason why she is so on edge. Again and again her eyes flicker to the navy blue uniform. A cop. A fucking cop. She knew from the start that this was not going to end well; now she had the visual confirmation. 

The redhead sits back down again. 

“We sometimes have breakfast, before Danny's shift. I hope we didn't wake you," Laura addresses her. For the first time Carmilla really looks at her. A little disappointed Carmilla notices that Laura is now fully clothed. She had enjoyed watching her bustling about in nothing more than the huge shirt.  

Carmilla shakes her head.

“No, you didn't.”

"Come on, take a seat. Do you want a coffee?” Laura asks her; she is already on her way to the coffee maker. 

“Yes, thank you. No milk, no sugar.”

Carmilla sits down on the chair, that is the farthest away from Danny. Incidentally that is also the place, that is the closest to where Laura is sitting. Conversation ceases, when the coffee machine starts up. Carmilla is aware that the cop is staring at her the whole time, only occasionally averting her gaze to look at Laura. She tries to reassure herself that this is just a mere coincidence. The cop is not here for her, she's just here for Laura. That's all she there is to it. _She's not here for her._

Laura hands her a huge, blue mug, that is shaped like a telephone booth. 

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Laura sits down next to her, her arm brushing against Carmilla's shoulder. Laura just proceeds to sit down not even noticing the simple brushing against each other. Carmilla does. All of the sudden she is reminded of the night before. Of the accidental touches they shared just before Laura went to bed. Carmilla closes her eye for a second, the images of last night still very much burnt into her memory. 

Laura had given her a small tour around the apartment, showing her the guest room, the bathroom and the kitchen. Her annoying little kitten had accompanied them, always scurrying around their legs, craving for some attention. Carmilla didn't tell her; she couldn't bring herself to tell Laura that she loathed cats, when Laura enthusiastically introduced the little beast, she seemed so happy, that Carmilla just smiled and nodded. She even patted the cat on the head, only for a second of course, but in her mind that seemed like quite the sacrifice to make.  

The cat followed them from the living room, to the kitchen, to the guest room, to the bathroom. It was only a matter of time, until one of them would stumble over the cat. And when Laura followed Carmilla out of the bathroom, she did. Laura let out a small cry, before crashing into Carmilla. Surprised by the sudden weight on her back, Carmilla lost her footing and crashed head first onto the floor. She's been able to break her fall with her arms, but when the full weight of Laura landed on her, she collapsed onto the floor. 

A throbbing pain in her arm had been the first thing she felt, but quickly that feeling was replaced by something else. Entirely. She became all to aware of the half naked girl that lay atop of her. Somehow her shirt had ridden up, while she was falling, so it left her lower back bare. Still dumbstruck, Laura lay on her. Her breasts pressing into Carmilla's back, skin touching skin. Carmilla's heart rate rapidly rose, when she imagined all the things the two of them could be doing right now. 

She tried to will them away, knowing just how dangerous they were - especially while she and Laura were still so close. 

The small girl that still lay atop her body, started groaning and slowly moving. The weight lifted and with it came the feeling of losing something, of missing something. She felt a shiver run through her body and quickly used her fingers to pull her shirt back down. She needed to get her shit together right fucking now. 

Laura softly touched her arm and asked her if she was alright; all the while apologizing for being such a klutz. With an exhausted smile Carmilla finally sat up and turned around; only to find herself face to face with the other girl. Laura had unconsciously moved forward, her face now only inches away from Carmilla's. Suddenly Laura was close, so very close. Her hand was still on Carmilla's arms, applying soft pressure. She looked worried, her eyes searching Carmilla for any visible injuries. She didn't move though.

Carmilla's throat felt raw. Her eyes dropped down to Laura's lips, running her tongue over her own lips in the process. For a second both of them had been frozen,  and all Carmilla had to do was close the small distance between them, she just had to lean in and...

The stupid cat of Laura's used exactly that moment to make her presence known by running her rough tongue over Carmilla's arm. Carmilla flinched at the sudden interruption and just like that the moment was gone. Laura pulled back and held a hand out for Carmilla to grab. Laura acted like nothing even happened between them after that.

And nothing did. But it might have. 

And all it takes is an accidental touch by Laura to bring those memories back. She needs to get out of here. Carmilla runs her hand through her hair, imagining the mess she must look like. She tried to tame her hair, but having no brush it was a lost cause. She glances at the perfect woman opposite of her. Danny. The redhead continues to ignore her, asking Laura about her weeks. Asking about people Carmilla never heard of. She does everything to exclude Carmilla from their conversation. After a long time of listening and not understand anything, Carmilla is happy, when Danny gets ready to leave.  

The redhead checks her watch and gets up. “I have to go, Laura. Duty calls.”

“Right.” Laura nods, getting up as well.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Carmilla,” the redhead says. Carmilla is surprised at the animosity in the cop's voice. Still, she smiles.

“Nice to meet you too, Danny.”

The redhead gives her one last, questioning look, before she takes her jacket and shrugs it on. Laura picks a white envelope of the table, that Carmilla hadn't even noticed before. She tries to read the inscription, but the print is too small. Laura hands it to the redhead.

“Here. Thank you so much for doing this, Danny.”

“Laura, are you sure I can't change your mind? I know you are hell bent on doing this, but I am sure we can-”

“Gee thank you, Danny. I had hoped you'd have my back on this.”

“I do. I just... don't like it. It's dangerous.”

Laura laughs and pats her arm. “Just trust me, okay? Nothing I haven't done before, right?”

Even Carmilla can see how affected Danny seems to be by this simple touch. Jesus, all Laura had done was touch her freaking arm, there were like three layers of clothes between them. She watches Danny softly shake her head. "I do trust you."

Laura pulls her into a half hug, putting her arm around the giant's waist and together they walk out of the kitchen. “Thank you again. I owe you.”

Even now that they left the kitchen, Carmilla can still hear them talking. 

“You know I'd do everything for you...”

“... as long as it's legal." Laura laughs. "Still, after everything, it's nice to know that I can count on you.”

"Always."

"Oh, before I forget. When are you picking me up tonight?"

"Depends. Do you want to have dinner before?"

"Um... sure."

"Six o'clock then? Great." Carmilla can hear the smile in her voice. Somebody is very excited about tonight. 

There is some commotions, the rustling of fabric, some more talk that Carmilla can't really make out and then the door falls close with a loud thud. Carmilla quickly takes the mug into her hands, and tries to look busy. It wouldn't do to have Laura think she was eavesdropping.

Laura comes back into the room, running a hand through her hair. 

"Sorry about that," she mumbles, when she sits down next to her. She takes her own mug and sips her coffee. Carmilla just shrugs, not really sure what Laura is apologizing for. She puts her mug down without drinking anything. 

“So, are you a cop as well?” She is pretty sure that Laura isn't. A cop wouldn't face somebody she assumes to be a burglar armed with a fucking spatula. 

“Do I look like a cop to you?”

Carmilla looks her up and down. It's only for show really; she has already memorized every feature of her face, every curve of her body. She had noticed the way her muscles tense under her jeans, whenever she takes a step, the way her hands flail about, when she speaks. “Not really, no.”

Laura laughs heartily. “Because I'm not. I'm a reporter. Sometimes Danny helps me with the cases, even though she doesn't always agree with them.”

“Why?”

“That's just what she's like. She needs to take care of everybody. It's not like I have ever been in any real danger, she's just exaggerating.”

Carmilla nods. Laura still hasn't told her what the case is, but she isn't about to pry.

“We used to date, you know?”

“You and Clifford?” Carmilla arches her eyebrows, surprised at the admission - especially at the _used to_. Implying they in fact aren't in a relationship anymore.

“Cliff- yeah, me and the giant red dog,” she laughs. “Sometimes she kind of forgets that we broke up. And why we did.”

“Because she was smothering you with her love?”

“I... I wouldn't put it that way, but yeah... essentially. I know she means well, but... loving somebody doesn't mean controlling every aspect of your partners life.”

"I know the feeling." Carmilla takes a deep breath trying to shoo away the memories. It has been a long time since Lilita had been a part of her life, but even after everything her mother still continues to haunt her.

"Former boyfriend?"

"Something like that," Carmilla answers. Laura nods accepting her reluctance to elaborate. She takes another sip from the mug.

“So, how did you sleep?” Laura asks. 

“Good,” Carmilla answers truthfully. It was probably the best sleep she got in weeks, maybe even months. So good, that she couldn't bring herself to get up and sneak out of the apartment, before anybody noticed. “Thanks again for letting me crash here, you didn't have to.”

“No big deal, as I said I owe you."

"You don't actually. Your friend does. How is he... Wilson?”

“Oh, I drove him home. He was feeling much better.”

“Oh, ok.” Carmilla was surprised. Maybe she misjudged the effect of the drug on the guy. He should have still been pretty out of it. He should still be resting on the sofa, where they left him to sleep it off, sporting a major headache and whining about the pain. 

“Yeah, though he was still a bit confused about what happened last night, he doesn't even remember getting wasted or doing anything.”

Shit. He isn't supposed to remember anything. Carmilla shrugs, not letting Laura see her inner turmoil. “I'd love to help you, but when I found him he was already out of it. He was barely able to point me to his car and tell me the address. I know what it's like... to be him. There was a time in my life I took anything I could get my hands on. It nearly killed me twice. So, I just... needed to help him.”

Carmilla had never done any drugs in her life. Even when she was at the bottom, she never succumbed to the temptation. She had seen enough addicts to know she didn't want to be one of them.

“But you don't anymore?”

“Not for a long time.”

Laura nods. “Wilson and I both went to Silas U, we were in the same Lit class, that's where we met. He was in a fraternity, he was such a dick. God, I hated him at first, but he sort of grew on me. But he and his brothers liked to... experiment, with basically everything they got their hands on. But when he got his job, he promised me that he was done with drugs."

"You can't trust an addict."

"I guess. He was just, finally life was looking up, you know? He got a promotion, he spend all his money on this stupid car of his... he seemed happy."

"Maybe it was a one time thing."

"Yeah, right," Laura says unconvinced, she brushes a strand of hair out of her face. "Gosh, I am so sorry, I don't mean to burden you with all of this."

"It's okay, cupcake."

"No, it's not. I am sorry. It's just I care about Wilson, he's one of my best friends. And tonight was just... rough. I'm still so tired."

"Didn't get much sleep?"

"No, I was too busy..." Laura stops short, whatever she meant to say never sees the light of the day. Her cheeks blush a bright red and she averts her eyes, not daring to look at Carmilla. Carmilla wonders if the same thoughts that kept her up of quite some time, also haunted the pretty brunette; she wonders if Laura had also imagined all the different ways they could get to know each other. 

Carmilla recognizes the signs. It is pretty obvious that she isn't the only one that feels a strong attraction towards the other girl. And normally she'd jump at the chance to tease the other girl, make some lewd remarks, make Laura blush even more. But she isn't really sure what is going to happen between the two of them, if Laura would admit to being attracted to her. The mere thought makes her burn with desire. 

Time to change the topic. 

"I would be tired too, if I drove my stoned friend home and had breakfast with my ex-girlfriend... and all that before," she glances at the clock above the refrigerator, "six o'clock. Fuck, you really didn't get much sleep. When did you get up?"

Laura yawns and nods. "Don't really remember. Thank god, I don't have to work today."

"Yeah, you should get some sleep."

"Later," Laura says. "Contrary to what my body wants to tell me, I'm not really tired at the moment."

Carmilla smiles, knowing exactly what Laura means. But talking about the guy's car made her remember the reason she hadn't just up and left the apartment, when she woke up. She had been careless yesterday. She had been so sure about everything, that she left her purse in the Mustang.  

“You know, before I forget,” Carmilla says as casually as she can manage, “I left my purse in Wilson's car.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, my phone is in there and I kind of ditched a friend yesterday, so I need to send her a text, before she files a missing person report. She always gets a bit twitchy, when I don't answer." There is no friend, it's not like Carmilla has any. Except for Mattie maybe. "Do you still have the keys for his car?”

“I do, but... his car is back at his place. I left it there and walked home." 

"Shit."

"But I can get your stuff, it's not that far. I just need to take a shower first.”

"Sure. Thank you. I'm gonna come, if that's okay with you." 

 *~*~*

Carmilla hadn't realized how early it still is. When they exit Laura's flat, the sky is colored in soft, orange shades, the sun slowly rising. Still, there is already a crowd of people gathering at the entrance to the subway station opposite of where they exited the building. Even though Carmilla spent most of her live running from on big city to the next, she never got accustomed to the sheer amount of people populating the streets at any time of the day, the loud noise of people shouting, the engines of the cars, impatient taxi drivers blaring their horn every minute, city trains rattling by. 

"It's this way," Laura says. Carmilla realizes that she's been frozen on the spot for a good couple of second. She looks over at Laura, how points to their right. 

"Ok. Are we walking?"

"It's not that far. I mean we could take the metro, if you insist."

Carmilla casts a fleeting glance at the people pushing their way down the stairs to get into the metro. "No, I prefer walking."

Laura nods, and they start walking. They walk in an amiable silence for the longest part of the way. Occasionally Laura asks a question. No personal questions, Laura must have realized how guarded Carmilla is. Just small things, things Carmilla can answer with a simple nod or shake of her head. 

True to Laura's words, they arrive at Wilson's place fifteen minutes later. 

"His car is in the garage. Come on, I have his key here."

She opens the door to the underground parking garage and they enter. Carmilla never much liked being underground. She likes to be able to look out of a window and see the world surrounding her. She likes to not be trapped in a concrete box below ground. 

Laura leads the way and it doesn't take long until they arrive at Wilson's car. The Mustang that started all of this. Carmilla is still in love with pretty much every part of this car. While Laura unlocks the car, Carmilla runs her fingers over the shining hood. Laura opens the door and a second later she emerges with Carmilla's purse. She hands it to her. 

Carmilla sighs a breath of relief. She had been entirely too careless yesterday, leaving the purse had been stupid. Everything important was in that hand bag. She quickly opens it looking through the back checking if everything is still where it is supposed to be. 

“Thank you!”

“Of course," Laura locks the car and plays with the keys in her hand. Carmilla gets the phone out and switches it on. Only for show of course, there is no SIM card in the phone. 

"Let's get back on the street. You probably won't have any reception down here." Laura locks the car, when Carmilla nods. Silently they walk out of the garage into the street. "I am going to go up to check on Wilson. Do you wanna come?”

“Umm, no, you go. I should probably call my friend right now.”

“Alright.” Laura sounds disappointed.  

“I will wait here, ok? How about I buy you breakfast after? I still owe you, and I got money now.” She holds her purse up and smiles. 

Laura beams at her. “Sounds great. I'll be quick.”

Carmilla watches her climb up the stairs to his apartment complex. Before the door closes behind her, Laura turns around one last time and flashes a big smile in Carmilla's direction. Carmilla returns the smile. When the door falls close though, her face falters and she leans against the cold concrete of the building. She waits a couple of minutes until she is sure that Laura won't be able to see her anymore, before she leaves. 

She cradles the purse close to her body, and puts the hood of her jacket over her head. Without a single glance back, she walks in the opposite direction of where Laura's flat is. 

"It was nice to meet you, Laura Hollis," she mumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually looking for a beta reader for this story - preferably somebody that already has some experience with proofreading. Anybody up for the challenge? It's really hard not being a native speaker. I sometimes feel like an imposter trying to hide how much I don't fit in (and probably miserably failing) xD


	3. Caught Red Handed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you to Emily (aka LemonyOrange) for betareading the chapter. This is also my first try ever writing anything resembling a crime story (I blame Castle for even starting to write this xD). The are gonna be a lot of twist and turns waiting for you, and I am probably going to use every cliche and trope there is, I am pretty excited to see how it turns out! 
> 
> A very dear and special song to me, listen to [ Stop the Clocks ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bLgGYFLhgQ) by the lovely Donots. 
> 
> On another note: NaNoWriMo is coming up and I am knee deep in preparations. I am participating with an Original Story, so I can't say yet how much time I will have to work on this story.

*~*~*

She pulls the hood further into her face; she can't risk anybody recognizing her. Her expensive coat already makes her stand out far more than she likes in this part of the city. She looks around wrinkling her nose at her surroundings. The parking garage is filthy; she wouldn't be surprised if this was the local junkie spot.

She quickens her pace, wanting nothing more than to get this over with. It doesn't take her long to find the car. It is surprisingly ordinary. She remembers the girl's obsession with cars a few years prior; and now that she was able to own her own car, she decided on a run-down van.

She shakes her head, before checking the license plate number. Twice. Just to be certain that it is the right car. She quickly looks around, checking the garage for the aforementioned junkies or other lowlifes. She circles the van like a predator about to charge their prey, running her manicured fingers over the dirty coating. She only stops to steal a glance in the window. She isn't looking for anything in particular, but any signs of the girl's current whereabouts would be a success. It's messy inside the car, paper cups and empty cartons are stacked on the passenger's seat.

She scoffs. Well, the girl's never been particularly tidy.

The backseat is full of papers, though she can't make out what is on them from the distance and in the low light of the garage. There are also a lot of books, classics from the look of it. She gets out a flashlight to help her search. But even the soft light cone illuminating the papers aren't much help. She pauses, when she spots an old, heavily used issue of _Carmilla_. She finds it difficult to swallow, recognizing the book at once. She had always wondered what happened to it.

Closing her eyes, she runs a finger through her hair. Now is not the time to get sentimental, she has to find her, before anybody else does. She needs... _needs_ to know where she is hiding. She could probably wait until she finally comes back to the car, but that could take hours, if not days... and she has an appointment with her nail salon later. If she didn't find anything, she could still call one of her contacts in the... business to keep an eye on the car, until she finally showed her face; but for now she needs some results. After years, this is the first real lead she had.

With swift fingers she gets the bundle of pick-locks out of her pocket. She circles the car again, coming to a stop at the driver's door. Dropping down, she inspects the lock. It shouldn't be hard to get in. Even though she hasn't done this in a long time, her muscles remember what to do. She slips the first pick-lock in, taking a deep breath.

Just as she is about to use the second lock pick, a booming voice makes her blood run cold.

"Freeze! Put your hands above your head, where I can see them."

She lets out an exasperated puff of air. She should have known better than to go herself. Slowly turning around, she puts her hands behind her head spotting the ridiculous excuse for a federal agent looking at her with a gun leveled at her head.

Her eyebrow quirks up. A gun, really?

The agent gives one of her lackeys a silent order; a young, intimidated looking woman walks over to where she is standing and tells her to turn around and put her hands on the roof of the car. When the woman starts to pat her down, she turns around her eyes wide.

"There is no need for that."

The young woman just looks at her, her mouth opens, but closes again without a word being said. She always had this aura of natural authority, that made people cower in trepidation. The agent in charge though seems to be unfazed; the woman takes a step towards her. She has holstered the weapon, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"You can step back, Anderson”, she regards the young agent, before turning to her. “We won't find anything on you, will we? No, you are too smart for that. Though you weren't smart enough to cover your tracks, when you lead us here."

"Maybe that was my intention."

"Oh, I doubt that, Lilita," the way the agents stresses her name like she knows her, makes Lilita Morgan shudder with unspoken fury. She had been too eager to find _her girl_ again, after years of being separated from her, that the mere thought of seeing her again, made her throw all caution into the wind.

"You will never find her."

"Thanks to you, I will," the smug agent says smirking at the trembling woman in front of her. "Arrest her, Anderson."

The young agent that tried to pat her down before, takes her handcuffs out and stands in front of Lilita; unable to lock eyes with the intimidating woman, she recites her rights like she is reading a particularly boring piece of literature.

"Mrs. Morgan, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive and purposely obstructing an ongoing investigation by withholding valuable information. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in..."

"Thank you very much..." She looks at the name on her badge. "... Agent Anderson, but I am well aware of my rights. And don't you dare put those filthy handcuffs on me. I am going to accompany you, willingly."

The young agent is dumbstruck and looks at her superior for help. The agent in charge looks Lilita up and down, before nodding at the young agent. "Check the car. If you find anything about her current whereabouts I want an immediate update, you understand? And I want non-stop surveillance on the car. When she comes back, don't let her escape... again."

Lilita taps her five inch heels on the concrete, eager to moves this along.

"Agent Perry, we both know that this is all a huge misunderstanding.” She smiles, they both know that the FBI has nothing on her. Her lawyer will eat Lola Perry alive. She just hopes that her daughter will be smart enough not to walk right into the trap, she unintentionally helped to set up. “So, let's move this along, I have a very important appointment at four o'clock."

Agent Perry raises her eyebrow, smirking at Lilita. "… right, with your nail designer. I am sorry, but you are going to have to postpone this... very important engagement."

*~*~*

Carmilla sits down, scanning the small cafe. There aren't many people here, only an old man immersed in his newspaper and a young couple, that is busy staring at each other and talking in hushed voices.

Just the right place.

An awkward, young guy trots over to her table. His grass-green tee, that displays the logo of the cafe, is at least two sizes too big for him. He isn't particularly tall or muscular, but the shirt makes him look even skinnier.

"Good Morning, here is the menu." He smiles at her; shyly averting her gaze, when she meets his eyes. “What would you like to drink?”

"Thanks, sweetie." She returns the smile at him, noticing the dimples on his cheek. He flushes a bright red at her words; Carmilla winks at him. “A coffee, black please.”

The waiter nods, scribbling down something in his little notebook, before he scurries away, nearly running in another table on the way. She takes her jacket and the scarf Laura had given her off. She feels bad that the cute girl will never see her scarf again, but then again Laura had insisted on her wearing the scarf, even though Carmilla had told her she didn't need it.

It still faintly smells like her.

She picks up the menu, browsing the meager variety of food. She decides on pancakes and puts the menu down again. It started raining again; she watches umbrellas walk by the cafe and decides that it’s time to move again. The city made her weary. 

There are too many people everywhere, it's cold and rainy.

And after yesterday’s fiasco, she doesn't feel like pulling another con here. She doesn't really feel like pulling another con at all, to be honest. She feels tired, yesterday had been too real. The guy had been to real; it had been rough to listen to the cutie talk about her friend like the real human fucking being he was. It had been a mistake to target somebody that looked like a decent freaking person.

Old sleazy men, with perfect, tailored suit and wallets full of cash were more her thing. She had never felt any remorse at ripping them off. They had it coming.

The waiter approaches the table again, serving her the coffee. She thanks him and gives him her order. He just nods, before leaving again. Maybe California, she thinks. Somewhere where it is warm, the sun is shining and where she could just take a few days off. She sighs at the prospect. Maybe that is exactly what she needs, a vacation. Maybe just a week of being herself, of not being forced to act all the time. She takes a sip, when the waiter brings her the food.

Fuck, it smells delicious. She thanks him and starts eating, before he even has the chance to answer her. She hasn't eaten in almost a day. She had lunch yesterday, but after that she only had a quick snack before she went to the bar where she picked Wilson up.

She pulls her phone out of her bag. If she is going to leave the city, she has to at least visit Dylan before that. She had promised him after all. The thought cheers her up, it's been too long since she's last seen him. She turns the phone on, the one that isn't only used as a storage space. It takes some time to boot; it's an older phone she only uses to communicate with one person in particular. She takes another bite of her pancake, while she waits for the phone to switch on.

The couple is just leaving the cafe, getting an umbrella out to save them from getting soaked by the shitty weather. The guy pulls the girl close, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, when he opens the door.

Carmilla sighs looking back at her phone, and is surprised to see she's got a message. Her heart starts beating faster. They only contact her, when it's something really _fucking_ serious.

With trembling fingers, she opens the message.  
  


>   **Hypatia:** The lair's compromised. You need to disappear. And ditch the phone. Don't contact me.

_  
Fuck_.

No. No, this was not happening. She stares at the message, the words only slowly translating into actual fucking meaning. No. There was no fucking way that they found her car. She's been off their radar for over six months. How the fucking fuck did that happen? She had been so cautious. There was no way in hell she left any evidence that could have led them to her car.

Slowly she starts to realize what it means that they have found her car, her safe haven. Everything is in there.

Everything.

She had been so careful, never going to the same place twice, not meeting up with any of her old... friends from the city, making sure nobody was following her. The Feds nearly caught her a few months back and she only escaped thanks to her special friend. And they were saving her ass again. Carmilla makes a mental note to be nicer to them next time they meet. She'd been a bitch at their last meet up.

She takes the SIM Card out of the phone, turning it off in the process. Shit. If they found her car, she had nowhere to go. She couldn't use any of her credit cards any longer. They knew most of her aliases. She is truly fucked.

The still only half eaten dish in front of her is suddenly forgotten, her stomach feels weary. If she eats any more she will probably throw up. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There is only one person she knows will help her get out of this freaking mess. The only person in the world she still trusts.

“Excuse me?” she calls the waiter, who just passed by her to clean up the table of the couple that left. He turns around, cradling a cleaning rag in his hands.

She smiles at him as he approaches the table.

Carmilla leans forward, well aware that the guy now had a very nice view of her cleavage. She smiles up at him, quickly checking his name tag. “Michael, I am sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you have a pay phone here or maybe if I could use yours; mine just died and I need to call a friend.”

He blinks, still staring at her. Her tits, to be exact.

“Um, I... here, take my phone.” He hands her his brand new smart phone without a second thought. She grins at the wallpaper. A half-naked woman sitting atop some sports car. What a cliché.

“Oh, thank you so much. You truly are a life saver! Oh and can you get me another coffee?”

“Of course. Black?” he eagerly asks.

“Yes, please.”

Once he is out of earshot, Carmilla dials the number she knows by heart. After only two rings, she answers.

“Belmonde?”

“Mattie, it's me.”

“Carm? Are you okay, honey?” The worry in her voice is apparent. After all it has been some time, since Carmilla last called her. Carmilla feels her eyes burn, tears threatening to spill. With an almost violent movement, she whisks them away.

“No, not really.”

“Give me one second,” Mattie says. After that all she can here is muffled voices, when Mattie holds her hand over the receiver of the phone to talk to somebody else. “I'm back. What happened?”

“They found my car.”

Mattie knows exactly who _they_ are. “Oh.”

"I have been careless. I never expected them to find it, everything is in there. They have most of my aliases now, my credit card information. The fake passports. Everything.”

"Do they know about me?"

"No way. Nobody knows about us; about you. "

"Good. Do you have any money on you?"

"Not really, I still have my credit card, but I am sure they are tracking it."

“Alright. You have somewhere you can go?”

“I...” Carmilla thinks about the possibles places she can go and comes up empty. “Not really, no.”

“Alright, that's less than ideal, but we'll come up with something. You need a safe place to hide; where did you say you were at?”

“New York City.”

“Good, I can call up some friends of mine there. Nothing fancy, but you will be safe with them.”

“No, Mattie. I can't let you do that. I-” She stops short, when she spots the scarf on the table. Maybe there is somewhere she can hide. Somebody who has no connection to any of the shit she is in. “I do. I do have somebody.”

“Wait, what?”

“At least for a couple of days. She's not involved in any of this.”

“She?” Mattie asks incredulous. “Please don't tell me it's Ell all over again.”

“It is not.”

Mattie takes a deep breath. “Alright. So you have a place to stay. And you are sure, they won't find you there?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good. It will take me a couple of days to come to New York.”

"Where are you?"

"Out of the country. Give me four days, tops. I'll get you everything you need."

"Thank you so much."

“Don't thank me yet, honey. You need to keep them busy for the time being. Try to make them think you left the city. And get another phone, I'll have everything ready for you once I arrive.”

“Thank you.”

“You know I'd do anything for you. Keep safe, alright? I love you.”

“I love you too,” Carmilla answers, but Mattie already hung up. There's only an annoying beeping sound in the line. When she watches the waiter make his way back to her place, she takes a deep breath.

Mattie is going to make everything good again. She always does. She only has to somehow survive the next couple of days. After that, maybe she could even come and live with Mattie and that ridiculously rich husband of hers. It would be nice. Living with Mattie again would be nice. She misses her. So fucking much. 

The waiter puts the mug down in front of her. She hands him the phone.

“Thank you! So, I am really sorry, but my friend neglected to tell me that she was currently out of the country. I didn't know or I wouldn't have asked, sorry.”

He just shrugs, apparently not caring that his phone bill is going to be considerably higher this month.

“Here take this,” Carmilla says and hands him a couple of bills. He tries to object, but Carmilla takes his hand into hers and forces him to take the money. “I insist... Michael.”

He begins stuttering again, but takes the money slipping it into his jeans. He runs off to the back of the cafe again. Carmilla leans back in the chair. So much for taking some time off, letting the sun and a few pretty girls help her forget about everything. If she is going to pull this off, she needs a plan. She can't risk getting caught. Everything needs to be perfect.

When she leaves the cafe half an hour later, she knows exactly what she has to do. She tries to tell herself that this isn't different, this is just like any con she has done before, nothing out of the ordinary, she's a proficient liar and actor. She can do this. 

This is going to be a piece of cake.

She'd been able to talk the waiter into giving her his umbrella, since it is still raining heavily outside. She makes her way through the city, protected from the rain by his bright, yellow umbrella. She still has some cash, enough to get her everything she needs. She gets rid of the phone and the SIM cards on the way, watching both drown in the Hudson.

She enters the bustling train station, spotting a vendor selling all kind of hats. She goes in and buys a huge, black hat that is big enough to cover her from the prying eyes of the cameras. She makes her way through the crowd of people to the ticket shop. She knows she is taking a risk. Her hands are shaking, she turns the into fist under the protective cover of her jacket. She needs to get her shit together. 

The queue isn't very long. There are only a handful of customers in front of her.

"Good morning," the ticket woman says, when she approaches the counter. It's an older lady with huge, fucking glasses resting on her nose. Her hair is hidden under a ridiculous looking hat from the train company. “How can I help you today?”

"Morning, I need to buy a couple of tickets."

The woman nods. "Of course, where to?"

"Umm, is there somewhere you always wanted to go?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is there," Carmilla starts anew, but she notices the puzzled glance the sales woman is regarding her with and just she shakes her head. "Nevermind. Let's see."

Carmilla sneaks a glance at the board above the woman. The one that shows the next trains arriving and leaving the station. "Alright, I'd like a ticket for the next train to... Chicago, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, umm... Cleveland, Lexington and Richmond."

"I...", the woman trails off blinking furiously at Carmilla.

Carmilla hands her the credit card, she is certain the Feds are tracking. "I'll be able to still board them, before they take off, right?"

The woman looks at the display in front of her. "Yes, they are all departing within the next twenty minutes."

"Great, thank you!" Carmilla smiles at the older woman, who is still looking at her with wide eyes.

"Right, your tickets, right," she mumbles, when she turns back to the computer in front of her. Not even five minutes later, Carmilla has six freshly printed tickets in her hand. The woman hands her the credit card and the receipt.

"Um, have a good trip."

Carmilla winks at her. "I will, thanks to you. Oh, and tell Perry I send my regards. And tell her she should wear red lipstick more often, it's pretty hot."

"I, Perry who... what?"

Carmilla just shrugs. "Don't worry. You will understand in a couple of minutes. Sorry for bothering you. Have a good day."

She walks away, putting the tickets into the pocket of her jacket. She pulls the hat further into her face. She makes her way out of the train station; mentally counting the money she has still left. She loathes doing this, but there is one thing she needs to do.

One person she needs to find, one transaction that has to be made.

*~*~*

She hesitantly knocks. It's quiet for a while, until Carmilla hears shuffling on the other side of the door. She stops breathing for a second, afraid of how the girl will react to seeing her again. She leans against the door frame, nausea washing over her. Maybe she should have taken one of those pain pills he had offered her. Her head throbs violently, she feels like she was hit by a fucking freight train.

The door opens a tiny crack and a voice tells her to get in. Carmilla pushes the door open with one hand, while the other one is still protectively wrapped around her stomach. All she can see when she gets into the apartment is the already disappearing figure in front of her.

Laura has her back turned towards her and is hurrying back into the living room. She's dressed in a cute, blue dress. "Shit, you're early, Danny. Come in, I still need some time to get ready."

Carmilla takes a deep breath, her body aching with every breath of air.

"Lau - ra," she croaks out, her voice breaking, when a sudden pain shoots through her side. Her grip around the door knob tightens, her knuckles turning white under the pressure. Of course, Laura has to live on the upper fucking story. Climbing the stairs all the way up here had taken its toll.

Laura spins around.

"Carm-," she exclaims in surprise, but her voice fails her, when she sees the other girl. Laura bites her lip as she takes her in. The crumpled, torn clothes. The same clothes she wore this morning, though in a considerably worse condition now. The huge hat that hides part of her face. And her face. Laura takes a step towards the hurt girl, who shies away from her like a wounded animal.

Laura holds her hands up. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Carmilla's face is swollen. Her lips are swollen, the skin on her lower lip even broken. The skin around her left eye has turned an unnatural color. A blend of blue, purple and red. The eye is half closed, fluttering when Carmilla tries to pry it open. Carmilla protectively holds her arm in front of her body and the way she covers her stomach makes Laura think that the skin beneath the shirt is probably also bruised. Carmilla looks nothing like the girl she met the night before. The Carmilla she met had been confident, playful. She'd been fine.

Not broken.

"What happened to you?"

Tears spill from Carmilla's eyes, before Laura can even finish the question. She stumbles into the apartment, nearly falling over her own feet in the process. She leans against the wall, trying to catch her breath, trying very hard not to meet Laura's eyes.

Laura feels her heart break at the sight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the plot thickens. Theories?


	4. Eye on the Prize

_a few hours prior_

It's a risk. Carmilla is well aware of the fact that this little visit could be her very last; it is entirely possible that the Feds know about their connection; that the suits are already waiting for her inside; she knows about the risk, but she's still willing to take it. They only located her truck a couple of hours ago, and if her little trick worked, they would be busy for now. 

It's not like she has much of a choice anyway.

She stares at the door. The paintwork is already crumbling – in this side of town there is no administrator to call if your flat gets watered by a busted pipe or a burglar tries to break your lock; either you do it yourself or you live with it.

Without wasting any more time Carmilla knocks at the door.

The door swings open. A disgusting smell greets her. She's not sure if it is him that emits it or just the filthy room. She can't believe she used to live here for nearly a month. Well, desperate times called for desperate measures. His hair looks like he hasn't seen the inside of a shower for at least a week, maybe even longer. He blinks furiously at her, not believing what he is seeing. He's probably high on some shit as well.

"You bitch, the fuck you doin' here?" 

So, he is not happy about her being here. Not a surprise.

"Wow, keep your voice down, Theodore." He hates his full name; Theo looks at her with a murderous glare, but keeps quiet. She shoves him out of the way and enters his flat without saying anything else. He just stares at her. "Close the door, you dimwit."

He does as he is told. Carmilla smirks at him; he's always been pretty good at following orders. That's what she liked about him from the start; he was always eager to please, eager to make her happy. And even if he thinks he is angry at her at the moment, she will still get him to do her bidding. Eventually.

"I see you haven't found the courage to move out of this shithole yet."

Carmilla advances into his one room flat, trying not to step on anything on her way. It's a mess in here. Not much has changed since she last saw him. She quickly glances around. Everything is exactly the same. If she didn't know any better, she would even think that the empty cardboard boxes and clothes on the floor have been there for years now. Pills are scattered on the small bedside table.

She tries not to breathe through her nose; it smells like somebody recently threw up and hasn't bothered to open the windows once since then. 

"Fuck you, Cat."

"Love you too, sweetie."

She is not about to sit down anywhere. She just stands in the middle of the room. Waiting for Theo to say something. She can read it on his lips that he is dying to say something. His lower lip is trembling under the pressure of the unsaid words.

"You promised you'd come back,” he says after some time. His voice has lost the edge. She knows she hurt him, when she just up and left. But the thing they had, the occasional fucking and the drugs he provided her with, had been temporary.

They had been using each other.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Right," he scoffs. "I am not falling for that again. You used me and then you just left."

"You knew that was bound to happen. We both knew. That was why it was so much fun. And it was fun, wasn't it? We were on top of the world."

He doesn't answer. He takes a few steps in her direction, but stops to pick up a few boxes from the floor. He throws them in the direction of his wastebasket. He is still trying. When he turns around again, he takes a deep breath.

"What do ya want, Catherine?"

"I need you to do me a favor. Two in fact."

"What the fuck makes ya think I'm gonna to do you any favors?"

"Money," she says looking around his apartment.

Money and love; love and money. The two things people always wanted. One she couldn't give him; even though he probably needed that more than anything; somebody that loved him enough to help him get his life back on track.

"I'm listening."

"Trust me, you're going to like this." She doesn't waste any time, and cuts to the chase. First he is confused and reluctant, but quickly his face morphs into the stupid smirk she always hated on him. She knew he wouldn't ask many questions, but just do what she asked of him. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier; he based most of his decisions on emotions and never was one to question his own actions.

The first punch hurts like hell. Small dots dance in front of her eyes, and the world starts to spin. She takes a deep breath trying to compose herself. Carmilla brings her hands up, "Fuck, you are not supposed to break anything."

"Sorry," Theo says sheepishly, but she knows better. He is enjoying this. He always liked hurting people. Hurting her.

"Try to be more cautions, alright."

He punches her in the stomach and Carmilla falls back. She tries to hold on to something, when Theo wraps an arm around her, holding her steady.

"Here, I got ya," Theo says grabbing her hand and pulling her into him. "I got ya."

Carmilla blinks a few times and the world stops spinning around her. Theo is holding her close and steady. Her head is pressed against his chest, she can hear his heart frantically beating under the fabric of his shirt; he is excited. She looks up at him. He is grinning. "I knew you'd enjoy this, you sick piece of shit."

"So are you. You always liked it rough, didn't ya, Cat?” She doesn't answer him, just takes a step back, catching her breath. “You good?"

Carmilla just nods and tries to stand upright, before the next punch makes her stumble back again. She bites her lip, drawing blood. _Eye on the price_ , she tells herself. This is no different than any of her other cons. Every con needs an angle. Every lie needs some truth to it.

The bruises will fade eventually. She closes her eyes and thinks of Mattie. Mattie will fix everything, Mattie will fix her. 

*~*~*

Of course Laura wants her to go to the hospital. Carmilla hadn't expected anything else from the girl. She is the perfect example of a model citizen after all. Carmilla just shakes her head, when another wave of nausea runs through her body. She closes her eyes and leans against the wall. She can't faint now. 

Laura notices at once. She makes her sit down on her couch, before leaving to get something. Carmilla gulps down her guilty conscience, when she remembers the unconscious body of her friend that spent the last night out cold on this sofa. Laura is back seconds later.

In one hand she holds a glass of water, in the other a couple of thermal packs. She sits down next to Carmilla. Putting both the water and the ice packs on the coffee table.

“You are safe here,” she tells Carmilla.

Carmilla is rendered speechless at the compassion in her voice; the girl doesn't even know her and seems at the verge of tears, when she meets her eyes. Carmilla tries a small nod. Her throat feels rough. Her head is still throbbing, and she can't even keep her left eye open. For once in his life Theo did well, much to Carmilla's chagrin. She tries to sit upright, but a sharp pain shoots through her abdomen.

She groans.

Laura moves closer and puts a hand on her arm. Laura helped her out of her jacket, so Carmilla is now only dressed in her low cut shirt. The soft touch makes Carmilla's heart flutter.

She tries to take a deep breath to calm her... whatever it is that draws her to the other girl, but the motion only makes her groan in pain again. Everything just hurts. Fucking idiot. The idea was that she'd look like she took a huge fucking beating; she didn't plan on feeling like she'd been caught under the wheels of a fucking truck.

“You are safe here,” Laura repeats, drawing soothing circles on her bare arm. The tears that shoot out of Carmilla's eyes aren't fake. She can't even remember the last time, somebody cared about her well being enough to drop everything and take care of her.

It is hard to meet Laura's eye. 

Laura must have been in the bathroom getting ready for this evening, when Carmilla knocked on her door. Her makeup is only halfway done. Laura seems to have forgotten about that, though. She looks at Carmilla in a way that makes her feel like they are the only two people in the world.

Carmilla isn't used to that.

The people she is usually with think more about themselves than anybody else. It's not like she's any different. The only reason she is even here lying to the cute girl in front of her, is to save her own ass from being thrown into prison. 

Laura helps her lie down on the couch. She takes of her boots, her movements slow, caring. She lifts her legs up onto the sofa and helps her get into a somewhat comfortable position. Carmilla feels sweat dripping on her forehead from the simple act of lifting her upper body, so Laura can place another pillow underneath her head.

Conjuring up a towel from God's knows where, Laura leans forward to brush the sweat off her head. Her breasts brush against Carmilla's shoulder, another stab of pain rushes through her mid, but this time it's a pleasurable one. She feels Laura's warm breath on her nose, tickling her skin. She tries to shoo away the thoughts that invade her mind.

Laura is a pretty girl. It's normal to be attracted to her, that's all. But she can't act on it. She cannot act on it. She repeats it like a mantra. The only reason she is even back at her place is to hide from the Feds. She'll be gone in a couple of days. She can't fuck this up. 

Laura leans back, bringing enough distance between the two of them to form a clear thought again.

“Can I look at it?”

Carmilla nods, her mind still lingering in forbidden places. Laura draws a sharp breath, when Carmilla hikes her shirt up to reveal her stomach. She knows it must look pretty bad, because fuck, it hurts like hell.

“Shit,” Laura mutters.

“That bad, huh?”

Laura doesn't answer; she presses the thermal pack softly on the bruised skin. It doesn't hurt as much as Carmilla would have expected; there is a sharp pain that shoots through her body, when the ice pack touches her skin, but it quickly dissipates.

Laura hands her the other pack and tells her to press it against the bruised skin in her face. Carmilla listens and does what Laura asks of her. When Laura sits down on the edge of the couch again, while Carmilla tries to move to make more space for the other girl, but there is nowhere to move.

They both draw some shaky breaths, before Laura finally breaks the silence.

„Can you tell me what happened?“

„I...“, Carmilla begins, but her voice breaks. She knows she needs to be careful about what she says, but she already has the story memorized in the back of her mind. „I was just going to get my things, I thought- I... he said he was gonna be at work.“

She sobs, running her fingers over her eye. She's always been able to cry on command; a rather useful talent in her line of work.

„He? Who is he?“ Laura asks.

„My... my boyfriend. I left him and he, he... he was so angry.“

„He did this to you?“

Carmilla nods slowly, pressing the ice pack tighter against her stomach. She doesn't have to fake the pain at least. Theo isn't good at a lot of things, but he knows how to throw a punch. She looks up, when Laura puts her hand on her arm.

“You can tell me. I'm not going to judge.”

“He did,” Carmilla says, her lips quivering with every word. “He was always very... emotional. This wasn't the first time he... you know. I couldn't take it any longer. I had to- I had to get away.”

Tears spill out of her eyes. She feels Laura move closer to her, shifting her weight on the couch. Her hand is back on her arm. She holds her, her hand steady on Carmilla's skin – telling her she's not alone, that she's is right here with her. Then Laura starts to draw small patterns on her skin again.

Carmilla closes her eyes trying to block out the pain. Instead she tries to focus on the soothing touches, the feeling of having somebody here with her, caring, listening. She's never had anybody like that.

Mattie has always been a huge fucking part of her life after... shit went crazy at home. But Carmilla can't even imagine Mattie sitting down next to Carmilla, patting her arm and telling her everything is going to be alright. That's not Mattie. Mattie disappears for a couple of days and when she's back, the problems have vanished.

She's taken care of them.

“You're safe here. We're home,” Laura says again.

Carmilla hasn't thought about the place she'd once called home in a long fucking time. The helpless girl that had everything and yet nothing is no longer. She's buried under the dozens of different girls and woman she has been over the last years. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between one of her personas and herself.

Sometimes the lies she tells feel more real than the truths she hides.

There isn't much left of the seventeen year old girl that ran away from a life that only ever brought her pain, loss and hurt. Sometimes it's hard to remember her real name, to remember that this Carmilla Karnstein she pretends to be is nothing more than a character out of an old novella. Her lips start shaking again, when she realizes for the first time that _his_ copy of the book is still in her van.

The last remnant, the last thing that she has left of Will is still in the car. Lost. To her at least.

She imagines the pretty agent with her bright red nails and perfect hair browsing the used book, reading all the different notes scribbled between the printed lines. Reading his words, judging him for all the things he has done. Judging her for still loving him.

She cries. The book was everything she had left of him. The last thing left to remember her big brother by. Will's words scribbled in between the lines, telling her everything. Confiding in her. Those words made her remember the boy that would go crazy over stupid vampire novellas; Will, her best friend, her guardian. Her everything. She remembers hanging on his lips, whenever he read her one of his favorite stories.  _Carmilla_ had always been his favorite.

And now, it's lost. He is lost to her. 

“You did the right thing,” Laura interrupts her train of thought. “Leaving him, I mean. And you are safe here. He can't hurt you anymore.”

Laura's eyes are glistening with unshed tears. Carmilla nods, trying very hard to control the sudden rush of anger. Looking at the pained expression in Laura's face she feels anger welling up inside of her; she's angry at her boyfriend for beating her up. Angry at her boyfriend for making Laura cry. Angry at him for making her cry.

She's angry at somebody that doesn't even exist. At least outside of her lies. For Laura this ex-boyfriend is very much real. He's the reason for all the different ways she is hurting right now. If only Laura knew that she did this to herself. All of it. 

But she can never know.

“Do you want me to... is it okay, if I hug you?” Laura asks hesitantly.

She nods. Laura leans forward, her body softly pressing again Carmilla's. She is trying very hard not to touch her stomach. Not to inflict her any more pain. She runs her hand through Carmilla's hair, whispering words of solace, telling her everything is going to be fine.

Carmilla breathes her in. She entangles her hand in Laura's hair drawing her closer. Laura rests her head against her shoulder, using one arm to prop herself up, while the other is draped over Carmilla's body. It feels nice to have her so close. She tries to ignore the sudden need to have her even closer, to touch her everywhere. She shakes her head softly ridding herself of the thoughts. It's more than wanting her, more than physical need. She likes the way her skin tingles where Laura touches her, the way the sickly sweet odor of her perfume soaks her senses; the way Laura can actually make her believe the stupid lies. _Everything is going to be fine_. Carmilla smiles against her hair.

Maybe, just maybe it will be.

A shiver runs through Carmilla, when Laura finally backs up. She feels cold; she runs her fingers down the length of her arm to give her some warmth.

“Can you help me sit up?” she asks Laura.

Nodding the other girl supports her back; gently pushing she helps her sit up. Carmilla leans against the armrest of the couch. She needs to get back some control. This isn't going the way it was supposed to. Laura seems to believe her. So far, so good. But she can't get invested. She needs to get back into the driver's seat again, after all she's the one that orchestrated all of this, the one that decides which way to go. She is in charge.

Laura moves closer. Now that Carmilla is sitting, there is more room on the couch to sit on. They are nearly eye to eye now, a position Carmilla prefers to being looked down on.

„I'm glad you came here, Carmilla. I can help you, you know. My friend, Danny, she's an officer and we can...“

„No, no police,“ Carmilla begs, burying her face in the croak of Laura's neck. The other girl puts an arm around her, holding her tight. She's careful though, trying very hard not to cause the already hurt girl any more pain.

„You don't need to be afraid. She can help you, I only need to ask her, she...“

„I just... I just want it to be over, I never want to see him again, I...“

“I understand. I do.”

Carmilla nods against the soft skin of her neck. She bites her lip. Nearly yelping in pain, she backs up again. She broke her lip again. She lifts her hand to her mouth, warm blood running over her fingers.

Laura gasps, quickly handing her the towel. Running her tongue over her broken lip, she feels the metallic taste of her own blood in her mouth. She presses the towel against her lip feeling like an idiot. She only hopes Laura won't ask any question. She is not about to tell her that the only reason she bit her own lip, was to keep herself from either running kisses down Laura's neck or bite the soft, inviting skin of the other girl.  

Laura is quiet for a while. She runs her fingers over Carmilla's arm again, eventually settling on intertwining their fingers, applying soft pressure to her hand.

When the bleeding stops, Carmilla puts the towel down and takes a deep breath. Time to move this show along.

„I'm so sorry to have come here, but... I had nowhere else to go; he is going to look for me. He knows every single one of my friends. He would have found me.”

“You don't have to apologize. I'm glad I can help you. You helped Wilson.”

Carmilla takes a deep breath. “I lied to you.”

“What?”

“Yesterday, I-” she stops short, thinking of how to put this. She knows the lies she presented to Laura yesterday were weak. It is a wonder the other girl didn't ask any more questions. “I didn't help Wilson out of the goodness of my heart. I... I needed a place to stay the night. I thought, I could just, you know bring him home and spend the night here. I... we had another fight that evening, I couldn't go home. He would have-”

She snivels. Her eyes start to burn again; the skin around her bruised eye aching, when she forces her eyes close. She can't look at Laura any longer. It just hurts too much. The lies easily leave her tongue like prewritten words she learned by heart; but she doesn't feel them. Instead she feels an overwhelming emptiness.

“It doesn't matter why you did it. You saved him. And I'm glad you stumbled into my life; I'm glad you came back.”

The confession seems so honest, so caring.

Carmilla isn't really sure what all of this means. She tries not to put too much meaning into the words. Laura is just very compassionate; she is probably like that around everybody. It has nothing to do with their intertwined fingers; the way Laura's thumb caresses the sensitive skin on her hand while she speaks.

“Thank you.”

Laura nods. She seems lost in thought, her thumb mindlessly caressing Carmilla's hand. The motion is soothing. For the first time Carmilla thinks she has made the right decision. She knows Mattie would never approve; returning after one of her cons went shit, after she was nearly revealed as a fraud. But Mattie doesn't know Laura. Carmilla meets her eyes; she is the epitome of everything that is innocent and kind. She easily believes whatever Carmilla tells her, because she believes in the good of people. She is still best fucking friends with her ex girlfriend, and that does say something about a person.

It feels wrong to deceive her like that, but Carmilla has learned to shove away those feelings. She isn't going to hurt her after all. She will just stay here until Mattie arrives and then she will be gone.

“Shit! I need to call Danny,” Laura suddenly exclaims. She drops her hand, and gets up frantically searching for her phone. “I need to cancel our... the thing this evening.”

“You had plans?” Carmilla asks. She already knows the answer; she is a very observant person after all. Even though she thought she'd never see Laura again after this morning, she still memorized their conversation. The cop had invited her to dinner and some event after.

“I don't normally dress up like this without an occasion.” She motions to the dress. Carmilla just nods. Fuck, she is beautiful.

“You don't have to cancel on my account.”

“I can't leave you alone. You are hurt. You need somebody, you need me...”

“Cupcake, do me a favor, please?” Carmilla asks. “Take a deep breath.”

Laura halts, her search momentarily forgotten. She does what is asked of her. She takes a deep breath, smoothing her dress, when she exhales. Carmilla smiles at her.

“Feeling better?” Laura nods. “You have already done so much, Laura. I'm forever grateful. I don't think I can ever repay you for your kindness. I already feel bad for taking so much of your time and you know,” she gestures at where she is sitting, “your place. You should have some fun tonight and I don't mean babysitting me.”

“I can't...”

“Yes, you can. And you should. I am just so damn exhausted, you know. I'll probably be deep asleep in a matter of minutes.” She yawns to emphasize her statement.

Laura fidgets on the spot, apparently still not sure what to do. She runs a finger through her hair. “Are you sure you are alright on your own?”

“Cupcake, I got beat up; I'm not fucking disabled. You know, I have had much worse... and I never had anybody take care of me before, so... I'm sure I'm going survive a night without you.”

Laura nods hesitantly. “Alright, but I'm going to leave you my number, in case anything happens, I want you to call me.”

“Um, I don't really have my phone with me, I left in a hurry and well, I have nothing really.”

“Oh. There is a phone over there,” she points towards the kitchen, “I'll just scribble my number down next to it and you call me, if anything comes up, promise?”

“I promise.”

Seemingly happy with their agreement Laura nods again, before leaving the living room to write her number down and get ready. Carmilla glances at the clock above the huge flat screen. It's half past five. The redhead said she'd be here to pick Laura up at sic o'clock.

She dreads seeing her... whatever the cop is to Laura again. Not only because she is with the police, but also because she seems to be very protective of the cutie. Laura might not ask any questions, because she gives her trust easily, but the tall redhead is surely going to ask all the wrong questions.

She's a cop after all, being a nosy little shit is her job.

She reaches for the glass on the table and gulps the water down in one sip. Now that she is all alone and has nobody to concentrate her attention on, her headache gets worse. She reaches for a blanket at the foot of the sofa and tugs it over herself. She lies back down and closes her eyes.

Only for a second, she tells herself. It doesn't take her long to fall into a deep, dreamless slumber.


	5. A Long Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took me so long; the new job really didn't leave much time for anything tbh. But here it is, this is one of the chapters I'm not really one hundred percent happy with. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway! Give [ Man Must Dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_19Gc3cTWE) from Johnossi a listen, cause the song's fun and well, they are Swedish xD

Laura has always hated these functions. She looks around recognizing some of the people surrounding them, but most of them are strangers. Danny is standing very close, their arms are brushing against each other. Her friend isn't paying any attention to her though. Danny is looking for somebody; Laura isn't sure who it is, her friend is eager to find in the crowd of people. It feels weird to be here again. The last time they attended one of these functions, they were still dating.

They still believed themselves to be in love.

It is crazy how much has changed in just a couple of months. She looks down at her hand remembering the ring on her finger. She remembers how happy she had been; how crazy they had been about each other. 

But most importantly she remembers how it hadn’t been enough.

„Danny,“ she tries to catch the redheads attention; she has to crane her neck to meet Danny’s eyes that are still scanning the crowded room. God, she is still so damn beautiful. “Hey Danny,” she says again, bumping her shoulder against Danny's arm. That's how Laura finally catches her attention; surprised at Laura's antics Danny looks down.

“Hm?”

“Um, you know you never told me, why you didn't just tell the Chief that we broke up. It feels... strange to be back here, to have people think we are still, you know an item.”

Danny takes a deep breath. “I know this isn't easy – for either of us. I'm sorry to put you through this, but I just couldn't tell him. He’d be devastated if he found out that we broke up… I just haven’t had the courage to tell him yet.”

Danny doesn't meet her gaze; instead she's staring at the floor. Laura squeezes her hand, almost instinctively. It is so easy to revert to old patterns. It is easy to imagine them still being happy, in love.

You don’t just forget three years of being everything to each other.

“I understand; it's just... you know one of us is going to meet somebody else again, eventually. You can't lie to him forever.”

“I know that, Laura. I just need some more time, ok?”

“Ok.”

It is not okay, but Laura knows better than to argue. They both know that what they are doing is wrong, so very wrong. But Laura knows Danny better than anybody. She heard the desperation in her voice, when Danny had asked her to accompany her. She knows that this is important to her. She knows how imporant the Chief is to Danny. 

Laura hadn't been a very good girlfriend, but she will do everything to not fail as a friend too.

She can do this; it is only for the evening. It is not hard to pretend to love the other girl, when she can still vividly remember a time when she actually did.

“Thank you,” Danny whispers and squeezes her hand.

The worst part about their break up had been the thought of losing Danny as a part of her life. Even before they became involved, they'd been good friends, best friends even. Danny has been a constant in her life for the past ten years. The thought of losing that connection made her nearly go crazy with grief and angst. She’s never been good at dealing with loss. Sometimes she thinks that they could have gotten through everything, if she had just been more open, more honest about how unhappy she'd been. She sighs. It won’t help to dwell on the past; Danny is still here. They made it through.

They are still friends.

Danny leads her to the buffet. Laura smiles at her; the redhead still knows how to keep her happy. They head through the crowd of officers, political figures and their significant others. Laura hates how formal these parties are; how superficial everybody is. How this is just about appearances.

How different Danny acts, when she is surrounded by all of these oh-so-important persons. Luckily the food is still as delicious as she remembers. At least the police department knows where their priorities lie; they may be cheap about a lot of things, but the catering is always top notch.

“You never told me why you were running late earlier?”

“Hm?” Laura asks in between two bites.

“You are never late.”

Laura bites her lip, after swallowing the last bit of food.

“I fell asleep again. Sorry, but I was exhausted after last night.” She doesn't meet Danny's eyes, lying never came easy to her; she isn’t even sure why she isn’t just telling her friend the truth. She probably should just tell Danny about the battered girl in her apartment, but for some reason she doesn't.

Danny nods.

“Sorry, I had a long day at work… I forgot about that. That girl was really weird though, wasn't she? Carmilla? That was her name, right? Honestly Laura, you can't just take anybody in. She could have just up and left with all your jewelry or smothered you in your sleep.”

Laura wants to argue; after all it is part of her job to be able to spot liars. She prides herself on being an expert in knowing people, but before she can utter a single word, Danny just continues.

“Besides, she looked like a freaking hooker.”

“She did?”

“Um, yes!” Danny raises an eyebrow. “Don't tell me you haven't noticed. It was pretty obvious from where I was standing, and I only saw her for a few minutes.”

“No, I... I don't think she-” Laura blinks unable to process the information. It is not like she has ever seen a prostitute before; all knowledge she has on the subjects derives from movies and books. She is pretty sure they are supposed to wear white knee-high leather boots, and skimpy outfits.

“Trust me I’ve seen enough of them in my line of work to spot them. But who cares, she’s gone, thank god."

“Right,” Laura says remembering how she tucked Carmilla in before she left the flat. She looked so peaceful, when she slept. She isn't able to meet Danny's eyes, instead she looks around the room trying to spot somebody she knows. A distraction.

There isn't anybody. She feels Danny watching her for once. She needs to change the topic, before Danny realizes that she is lying about Carmilla. “So have you asked you friend in the lab yet? You know about the sample I gave you this morning.”

Danny raises an eyebrow and shakes her head softly.

“Laura, this is not one of your trashy TV shows, it does take some days analyze it; besides, the lab is closed over the weekend.”

“Oh."

“But I'll get it to her, first thing Monday morning. Girl owes me.”

Laura nods not meeting Dannys eyes. “Thanks.”

Danny just nods and takes her hand again to go and meet another one of her colleagues. On the way Laura steals a glass of champagne from one of the waiters and gulps it down at one swallow. Danny watches her with raised eyebrows, but knows better than to say anything.

Their relationship is a farce after all; she has no right to chide Laura for her actions any longer.

*~*~*

Carmilla jerks awake, when she hears a door open. For a moment she is disoriented, frantically looking around, trying to find out where she is. When she moves to sit up, a sharp pain in her abdomen makes her cringe. She falls back onto the sofa remembering where exactly she is. She must have fallen asleep, before Laura left; she doesn't even remember the girl leaving. She must have slept for some time. It's dark; the soft autumn sun that illuminated the room before is gone. She groans, the pain still ever present. She tries to sneak a glance at the clock, but it’s too dark to make out anything.

She takes a moment to collect her thoughts. Only twenty four hours ago things were working out like always. She was chatting up Wilson in some bar; daydreaming about his car… and then everything went shit so fucking fast. Slowly the fact that it was the sound of a creaking door that woke her up, makes it's way back into her mind. Somebody is here.

The light in the kitchen turns on, and Carmilla feels something move next to her feet. She lifts her head and watches the shadow of Laura's huge, black cat jump from the sofa. The cat ignores her, instead making its way into the kitchen.

A soft voice greets the cat. Carmilla has to smile, when she recognizes Laura. The cute girl proceeds to talk to the cat like it can understand her. Carmilla never understood why people treat their pets like people; it’s not like the stupid cat is able to understand a words the cutie is saying to her. 

She tries to sit up again; one hand one her stomach, the other one on the couch to help her push her body in a sitting position. She closes her eyes, when the pain intensifies, but pushes through. Breathing heavily she leans against the backrest. Laura seizes the moment to stumble into the living room. She stops short at the door, squinting her eyes to catch a glimpse of Carmilla in the dark.

Laura is still dressed in the cute blue dress from before. She isn't wearing any shoes and her hair seems somewhat red in the dim light of the kitchen. Carmilla tries a smile, though she is pretty sure that Laura won’t be able to make out more than shadows. She hasn’t bothered to turn on the light yet.

“Hey cupcake,” Carmilla greets, her voice rough. She always had this rasp in her voice after just waking up, or not sleeping at all. She clears her throat. “How was your night?”

“Hej,” Laura says, struggling to stand still. She makes a few steps in Carmilla’s direction, her sense of direction obviously disoriented since she first walks a few steps to the right, then forward, then to the right again. Carmilla grins, surprised by what she sees.

She is drunk.

Laura giggles leaning against the door frame. She somehow ended up at the exact same space as before. “I like dancing.”

_Um, right._

She starts swaying, lifting her arms, hanging on to an invisible dancing partner, while she moves around the floor. She is only illuminated by the soft light from the kitchen. She hums a happy melody moving her body to her own music. She moves in circles, or at least she tries to. Her footwork is not steady enough to allow her to execute the turns. Carmilla is surprised that she manages to not fall on her ass.

Carmilla smiles again, hoisting herself up on the couch. She watches the other girl for another moment - or two. Content with just sitting here. It feels surprisingly domestic.

“Do you wanna dance with me, Caaaarm?”

Dumbfounded by the nickname, Carmilla lifts an eyebrow. Laura holds a hand out to her, and loses her balance again prompting her to come very close to falling flat on her face. She laughs, her body violently jerking at the sound.

After a second she just starts humming again, moving to the sound of her own music.

“I don't think I should move at all in my current state, cupcake.”

Laura halts; her arms still holding an invisible person close to her body. She even stops humming. She seems to be lost in her thoughts for a second; then she points a finger at Carmilla and giggles.

“I- I have something for you. You, you just wait.” She stumbles back into the kitchen, nearly trampling over her kitten on the way. She fumbles with the light switch, and a second later Carmilla has to squint her eyes shut at the sudden brightness that invades her eyes. When Laura makes her way back to her, she sits down next to Carmilla on the couch; her purse is open in her lap. She rummages around in the purse and gets out two small packages. She tries to open them, fumbling with the carton, before just handing them to Carmilla.

“Here, you do it. It's for your bruises. And some pain meds.”

Stunned Carmilla takes them into her own hands. She never asked Laura to get her anything. “I... Thank you, Laura. I’m going to pay you back of course.”

Laura just shrugs.

“I went to the phara- pharma... pharmacy. I told Danny I was just getting some, you know utensils for um… for the Leak Week, you know for the Crimson Wave, for the Red Wedding, for...”

“Oi, Cupcake,” Carmilla interrupts her and grins at the other girl. “I get it. Thank you! So may I ask why you didn't tell your friend about... why you had to go to the pharmacy?”

“Umm...” Laura blushes. She runs her fingers through her hair. “No.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why can't you tell me?”

Laura shrugs, before she looks up; her eyes are glassy. Her pupils are dilated and her eyelids keep on fluttering. Carmilla is still surprised about the state Laura is in. For some reason she had assumed that the Laura was the kind of person that didn't do alcohol. Apparently she was wrong.

“I- Danny is mean sometimes.”

“Mean?”

“Yes.”

Carmilla remembers the angry glances the cop shot her this morning. She is thankful that Laura hasn’t said anything to the ginger giant about her; otherwise she’d probably be facing the holy inquisition right about now.

Still, she is curious. For some reason she needs to know what would make a do gooder like Laura lie to her friend slash ex girlfriend. She watches Laura squint her eyes, apparently lost deep in her thoughts. Her body slumps forward, her hand awkwardly landing on Carmilla’s leg to keep herself from falling. Laura doesn't seem to notice. She moves further into Carmilla, her mouth only inches from Carmilla’s face. She is about to ask her what she is doing, when Laura's breath ghosts over the sensitive skin of her ear.

“You wanna know what she said?” Laura asks, touching Carmilla’s thigh in a way that is entirely to intimate for the situation. Carmilla closes her eyes, feeling the warmth of Laura’s touch resonating in her whole body.

“Sure,” she answers trying to not reveal to Laura how such a simple touch is able to dismantle her. Laura leans even closer, her mouth touching her skin, when she whispers the next words.

“She said you are a hooker.”

“Oh.” _Oh._

Laura suddenly moves away, laughing heartily. Carmilla flinches, the sound shrill in her ears. Her heart starts beating furiously. She tries to even her breathing, to hide the fact that her heart just furisouly started beating. _A hooker_. It's not the first time somebody called her that. No, she's used to that kind of abusive slurs from all kinds of people. 

“Ridiculous, right? How could you, I mean not that you are not pretty enough, but…” Laura shrugs helplessly. Carmilla still hasn’t said anything. “You aren't though, are you?” Laura asks after a momentary silence. It's still dark around them, but Laura's eyes seem to glow.

With what Carmilla can’t tell.

“A hooker?”

“Yes,” Laura answers between two giggles that come out strained.

“No, cupcake. I'm not a hooker.” _… not in the classical sense at least._ Carmilla balls her hand into a fist next to her body. She suddenly feels tense. So fucking tense. 

“Good.” Laura beams at her. “I didn't believe her anyway, you know.”

“I know.” ( _She doesn't_.)

But Laura seems content with her answer. Her body visibly eases; Carmilla isn't sure if Laura is consciously moving closer towards her or if her body is just growing more tired with every second that passes, but it doesn't take Laura long to snuggle up to her. Carmilla stoically stares forward, while Laura leans against her. Her head resting on Carmilla’s shoulder, her hair tickling her chin. Her hand is still cupping Carmilla’s thigh in a not so tender way. Carmilla keeps quiet.

She doesn't know how to react. Laura eases against her, the tension leaves her body and after a couple of moments her breathes grow even. She is about to fall asleep, that much is obvious. 

“Come on, cupcake. Let's get you into bed.”

“No, let's just.... stay here,” Laura mumbles without moving. Carmilla softly removes Laura's hand from her body and tries to hoist her up. Her body aches, when Carmilla moves under the weight of Laura. Careful not to cause herself any more pain than strictly necessary, she gets up.

She holds a hand for Laura to grab.

“Come on.”

Very slowly Laura sits upright; she uses one hand to support her head and runs the other one over her eyes and yawns loudly. After some time Laura grabs the hand Carmilla is holding out. Tentatively they make their way to Laura's bedroom.

Laura heavily leans against Carmilla on the short way to the bedroom. Apart from the gradual pain in her abdomen, the only thing Carmilla notices is how damn good Laura smells. Yes, the lingering smell of whatever alcohol beverages Laura consumed throughout the evening somewhat lessen the effect, but still... she feels so drawn towards her. 

Laura quickly climbs into her bed, drawing the blanket over her body. For a second Carmilla wonders how it would feel to crawl into bed with Laura... how- no, not part of the plan. Carmilla needs to put some distance between herself and Laura, like right fucking now. She starts to move away, when Laura's hand sneaks around her wrist. She turns around. Laura is staring at her with huge, open eyes.

For a moment they just look at each other. It’s Laura who finally breaks the silence.“You know... shouldn't I be the one taking care of you?” Laura asks, very serious all of the sudden.

“You can do that tomorrow, ok?”

Laura just nods. Her hand is still holding onto Carmilla. Without really thinking about what she is doing, Carmilla leans forward and kisses Laura on the forehead. She leans back, surprised at her own actions.

“Goodnight, cupcake.”

Laura isn't reacting, so Carmilla softly loosens her hold on her wrist and with one last smile at the wasted girl, she turns to leave. She is already at the door, when Laura's quiet voice makes her turn around again.

“Carm?” Laura lifts her arm, trying to grasp her. The only thing she catches is air. Carmilla doesn't move, she waits for Laura to say something else. “Will you stay with me?”


	6. An Unexpected Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out [ Giorni dispari](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fR45CR4cE) by Ludovico Einaudi, or anything else by him really. Hope you enjoy the chapter! 
> 
> Trigger warnings for mentions of child neglect, physical and psychological abuse.

~*~*~

The room is so silent, you'd be able to hear a feather drop to the floor. Carmilla closes her eyes not for the first time tonight hoping to finally be able to find some sleep. Turning around she stares at the white ceiling above her.  

 _Sorry, I can’t._ The words still ring in her ears. Her words. It took all of her self restraint to not just crawl into bed with Laura. To not fill the void inside of her with yet another night spend in a strangers bed. She still isn't sure why she didn't. Why it felt like the only right thing to do. Normally she'd jump at the chance to fuck a pretty girl like Laura. And she's pretty sure that that was what Laura had in mind. She'd seen her eyes glint in the dimly lit bedroom. And she felt her lean into her, cuddle up to her even before that. Drunk Laura definitely wanted her. 

And fuck, Carmilla wanted her - wants her. But it didn't feel right. Laura was drunk and probably going to regret everything the morning after. And Carmilla... for some reason she cared. She never cared. Her lifestyle left no place to worry about or care for what other people thought about her, how they felt about her. No, caring was dangerous. She learnt that the hard way. Ell was a mistake. A mistake that very nearly cost her her freedom - besides costing her her heart that is. 

Somebody like her can't afford caring. 

She's wide awake now. Knowing that sleep isn't going to come anytime soon, she gets up and stumbles around the apartment, her feet instinctively leading her to the glass door that opens to the balcony. She steps out into the clear and cold air of the night. Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes. The sudden cold makes her shiver. She's still only wearing a huge tee and shorts. She takes another step forward, leaning against the ice cold fence.

She likes the way her body trembles, how a shiver runs through her hands, up her arms, when she touches the metal pole. It makes her think straight and clears her head. There's so much going on at the moment, that it is hard to concentrate on one thing in particular. She hates the familiar feeling of her world collapsing around her while she feels unable to do anything. A rough chuckle leaves her throat, when she remembers the therapist her mother send her to after... after it happened for the first time. It was the first time she realized what a good liar she was, how easy it was to play people. To make her therapist believe whatever it was she was telling him. She started studying the DSM, started informing herself about all those long and important sounding words he diagnosed her with, and started playing. 

It was a game at first. She had never honestly believed she'd get away with it. But he fell for it, it was too easy. Maybe she should send him a thank-you card, since it was thanks to him that she finally found something she was good at. Something that allowed her to leave her predetermined life behind. Feeling her heart beat violently in her chest, she studies the night sky. The stars have always been able to calm her. She watches the small dots in the air, so far away, yet so close. She tries to remember the constellations her dad had taught her to tell apart once upon a time. She tries to remember the constellations they invented together. Tries to remember how it felt to be so innocent again. To have a home. To lie in their backyard and look up at the stars, to have her dad’s soft voice ringing in her ears, while he talked on and on about the world above them. To have Will lie next to them, challenging their father with his own nonexistent knowledge about the universe.

How it felt to not be broken. 

It's not a very cloudy night, but still the sky looks empty. Almost sad in a way. Another reason why she hates cities. She spent so many nights parked in the middle of nowhere sitting in her car and just looking at the vast sky, admiring the countless millions of stars above her, wondering what else was hiding in the darkness of the universe. It always made her remember how small she was, how trifle her problems were. How she didn't matter. She was nothing more than a blur, her life over before anybody even noticed. Looking up at the sky it is not the first time in her life that she wishes, she'd be able to believe in God. She wishes to believe in a world where everything happened for a reason, where there was a God up there who looked after them. 

But she doesn't. 

She closes her eyes, while she ponders how fast everything went to shit. How the timing is so fucking bad, that it can’t be a coincidence.

Eight days.

Eight days have passed since her fathers funeral. Eight days since she had to watch from a safe distance how the whole fucking city paid their respects to her father. Eight days since she shed silent tears hundred meters away from his grave. Eight days since she was too much of a coward to dare to come closer. Eight days since she lost the last relative that meant anything to her.

Eight days since she realized that her father died thinking his only daughter hated him. Eight days since that knowledge nearly broke her. Eight days. She remembers looking at her family's grave, watching them lower her father's coffin into the grave. She spent so long trying to run away from her past that everything suddenly hit her with the forced of nearly a decade of repressed memories. She was nearly brought to her knees by the familiar sharp pain in her chest, that was a reminder of everything she lost. Her fathers name shone in golden letters on the gravestone, the sun occasionally escaped the clouds to illuminate the grieving gathering. She watched all those people cry and hold each other. And all she could think about was that Will never had anything like this. Will never got a burial. Will didn't get a gravestone. Her mother didn't want him buried here, no she fucking hid him away. Her mother didn't allow it. She gave her a million fucking reasons, tried to reason with Carmilla... until that particular argument ended with a broken window and a broken arm. An accident. That's what her mother told the doctor after. 

 _Right_. Ridiculous how nobody questioned her. Ever.  

No, Will was her family. He was there, when her mother was too busy selling lethal weapons to the highest bidder to care about the two little kids at home, and when her father was either gone chumming up to whatever important person he met with or too caught up in his own importance to wonder if his children were lonely. 

Will taught her to read even before she spent one day at school. Will stole into her room at night, when she was having a nightmare. Will told her that there were no monsters under her bed or in the walls. Will held her close, when she didn't believe that. Will held her hand, when the nanny dropped them off at school at her first day. He put band-aids on her knee, when she fell down the big chestnut tree in their yard again. Will dried her tears, when her favourite characters died, and Will cried with her, when Dumbledore died. Will was there to tell her that it wasn’t wrong to kiss another girl. It didn’t make her any less normal, any less worthy. He’d love her no matter what.  

Fuck, she misses him. Still. So many years have passed, so many people have entered and left he life, but still... Will is the only person she wants by her side. And now she lost the last piece of him she had left. After years of hanging on to the book, of drenching the pages with her tears, of running her fingers over his hastily scribbled notes, it's just gone. _Carmilla_ is gone. 

He's gone.

She can't accept that. She won't accept it. She was never one to play by the rules, to do what was expected of her. And after all she still has an ace up her sleeve. Her favourite agent doesn't know that one of her employees isn't exactly who they pretend to be. The pretty agent doesn't know that LaFontaine struck a deal with Carmilla. Perry doesn't know that her little ginger pet project isn't as loyal as she hopes. She's vulnerable and she doesn't even realize. 

Carmilla needs to contact them. Even though she knows, she fucking knows, that they will be angry that she didn’t stick to the bargain, she needs their help. Again. She remembers the phone she drowned in the Hudson, remembers the number that is now lost to her. She has only one way to contact them now. God, they will be fucking furious. They never had to talk about it, but keeping him out of the whole mess had always been an unwritten rule. She always understood their inherent need to keep him safe; she’d have done everything in her power to do the same, if their positions had been reversed.

If she still had a brother to protect.

She smiles at the prospect of seeing Ethan again. She wonders how much he has grown in the past year, how much he has changed. Her hand closes around the small pendant on her necklace that she normally hides beneath her clothes. A silver panther with huge paws. It's probably the cheapest piece of jewelry she owns, but the it's still the only one that holds any value to her. Ethan's the only thing she has ever done right by in her life. 

She closes her eyes cradling the cheap necklace in her fingers already eager to visit Ethan. If it weren't the middle of the night, she'd leave right now. But for now she's only left with the distant memory of being with him and the hope of seeing him again real fucking soon. 

~*~*~

The door bell rings. Carmilla doesn’t register the sound at first, she is still caught in a very vivid dream. She's being chased by something, she isn't able to tell who or what it is - the only thing she remembers is that whatever is hunting her is fucking scary. She's trying to hide in a small barn in the middle of fucking nowhere, when the ringing makes her sit bolt upright in bed. She's never been a heavy sleeper and especially when she spends the night in a new surrounding for the first time, she usually wakes up at the first sign of change around her. Rubbing her eyes, Carmilla sits up in the small guest bed. She waits, while intently listening for any signs that Laura is awake.

The flat remains silent. Instead he ringing grows more urgent. Somebody is very bent on getting Laura to open the door. She finally gets up - the events of yesterday return to her mind at once, when her body feels like a fucking train wreck, whenever she moves. Maybe she should have taken one or two of the pills that Laura gave her last night. Maybe then, she wouldn't feel like she was run over by an eighteen wheeler truck - multiple times at least. Carmilla stumbles out of the bed, feeling the loss of the beautifully warm bed at once. One hand automatically wraps itself around her middle. Theo honestly outdid himself this time. Carmilla dreads seeing herself in the mirror for the first time. She must look like a true mess. Her whole body feels sore and she's still in the same clothes, well the same shirt she wore yesterday. And she's pretty sure that there is still blood on her sleeve from her split lip. 

When she slowly makes her way out of the guest room, she notices that the noise has stopped. Maybe whoever was hell bent on getting Laura to answer the door a moment before, has finally given up. Maybe she should just let the girl sleep then, no reason for her to get up at this ungodly hour - especially after the night she's had. She walks over to Laura's door, unsure of what to do. Vivid memories of last night dance in front of her eyes. Laura asking her to stay with her, to come to bed. 

It took all of her self-control to turn her back on the girl. And for some reason she still feels a pull towards the bedroom. Laura’s door is ajar. It is truly a wonder that the loud noise of the bell didn’t wake her. Carmilla reaches out towards the door, unsure of what exactly it is she is doing here. 

“And who might _you_ be?”

Carmilla freezes.

Her hand is only inches away from the door handle, when the deep voice makes her stop dead in her tracks. She whirls around, her hand automatically grabbing onto the nearest surface for support. Her knuckles turn white under the pressure, when she spots a tall man in the doorway. How the fuck he even made it here without Carmilla noticing is a mystery to her. Carmilla’s heart is beating furiously and her whole body tenses - at once recognizing the situation for what it is. Forgotten is every thought of sleep, when her body reacts to the perceived danger. Her eyes dart around the room, there must be something around here to protect herself with. Well, apart from a spatula that she recognizes as the " _weapon_ " Laura used against her the night they met, there is nothing. Why the fuck is there even a spatula casually lying around on the cupboard?

The man is still doing nothing. He watches her attentively. She's surprised at first that he is older than most of her mother's men. But he is wearing the same black suit and piercing gaze as the other guys working for her mother's security detail. She's been around enough of them to spot them easily. And there is nobody else that would just barge in here. He's definitely not police. And there is only one other person capable of finding her here. At the place she believed herself to be safe. There is only one person to send him here. Her mother. And suit guy looks just like one of her mother’s lackeys; sent to do her dirty work. She's sure he must have noticed how battered she looks by now. He looks at her with something akin to worry. Maybe he's concerned her mother will blame him if her precious daughter gets returned to her in such a poor state. 

She's not going back to _her_. Never. 

“One step further and…,” Carmilla trails off knowing that the guy holds all the advantages in his hands. She chides herself for being so careless, for allowing herself to be so goddamn vulnerable. Carmilla takes another step away from the guy, her back touching the wood of Laura’s door. The door creaks, when it moves a few inches.

_Laura._

There is nothing more than a thin wooden door separating the girl from Carmilla and their assailant. Shit. She can’t let anything happen to her. Not after she took her in and allowed her to stay here without asking many questions. Not after showing a ridiculous amount of kindness towards the stranger that Carmilla is. Not after looking so cute in that blue dress. There is no way in hell that Carmilla is going to let her mother get her dirty hands on Laura Hollis. Not when she knows what Lilita Morgan is capable of.

“How the fuck did you get in here?” she starts. She needs to think of a plan, real fucking soon. But for now she needs suit guy to be distracted. She needs to find a way to get both herself and Laura away from this guy. The man scrunches his nose up at her words, and raises an eyebrow. He drops his right hand and moves it in the direction of his jacket. Reaching for a weapon.

“ _Don’t_.”

The man looks at her oddly and raises an eyebrow. “Or what, sweetheart? What are you going to do? Stop me with mean words and a disarming smile?”

“I’m…” Carmilla starts, but her voice falters, when the door behind her is thrown open. She stumbles for a moment, surprised when the solid wall behind her back suddenly disappears, but she is able to catch herself quickly. She allows herself a second to turn her head towards Laura. Laura looks like she just fell out of bed, her hair is a mess, and her eyes are wide open. Her mouth is slightly agape.

Carmilla takes a step towards the guy, trying to block Laura from view. Trying to protect her.

“Papa?” the sleepy voice of Laura surprises her. Wait - _what?_   She turns around just in time to watch Laura yawn loudly and rub her eyes. Their arms brush against each other, when she slides past Carmilla. Still uncertain about what she just heard, Carmilla blinks. Again and again. She watches Laura hug the man. Watches him twine his arms tightly around the tired girl and smile at her. “What are you doin’ here, papa?”

“G’mornin, pumpkin. You didn't tell me, we'd have company today.”

Laura takes a step back and turns around to look at Carmilla. She looks at her like this is the first time she's seen her. Her eyes wander over her body, until she finally settles on her eyes. Carmilla blinks through tired eyes, pretty sure Laura just checked her out. But then again, she's probably still sleeping, because none of this makes any sense at all. 

"Um, yeah... ups, I might have forgotten."

“Honey, we even talked about it on the phone on Monday. I can't believe you forgot, I thought you’d be happy to see your old man again.”

“I am, you know that! It’s just… there has been a lot of stuff on my mind and things at work have been a fucking mess.“ Of course Laura’s father - the man she believed only moments before to be here to kidnap her - now looks at his daughter with raised eyebrows, not approving of her language. Of fucking course. “I mean, um… sorry, papa. I'm glad your are here! I missed you.”

Mr. Hollis looks lovingly at his daughter, before giving her another hug. Carmilla finally takes a step forward, when he loosens the hold on his daughter. 

“It’s an honour to meet you, Mr. Hollis,” Carmilla starts and feels her cheeks turn to a dark shade of red. She straightens up and tries her most charming smile. “I’m Carmilla. And I'm sorry for you know – the threats and implied violence."

Carmilla can feel Laura staring at her, but tries very hard not to take her eyes from the man. When Mr. Hollis holds his hand out, Carmilla gingerly takes it. He has a firm handshake, just like Carmilla expected. Everything about Laura's dad seems to be stout and determined, but at the same time he comes across nice as fuck. Not a very common combination. No wonder it has thrown her off.

“Don’t ya worry, kiddo. I shouldn’t have just let myself in. And please call me Jack.”

Carmilla nods. "Nice to meet you, Jack."

"I bet you girls are starving, aren't you? Why don't you go ahead and get dressed, while I make us some breakfast.” 

"I can let you do that, papa. You're the guest after all."

"Nonsense, Laura. I brought some sandwiches and if you give me some time I can even cook a little something." Mr. Hollis smiles at them; all shiny teeth and sparkling eyes. When Carmilla looks at him now, she just can’t fathom how she’d ever believed the man to be here to hurt her. That he’d be one of her mother’s guys. 

He looks so… _chummy_.

“Thank you, papa. We’ll just be a, um… a second.” She smiles at him again, running a hand through her hair. She gives him another quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning around and dragging Carmilla into the bedroom with her. Carmilla willingly stumbles along and for the first time she sees Laura's bedroom in the light of the day. She flashes Jack Hollis, who is watching them with mindful eyes, another smiles, before Laura closes the door behind them. 

Carmilla takes a step back, suddenly acutely aware of how close she and Laura are. The cuties drops her hand, when she leans against the closed door.

“I totally forgot that he was coming to visit today,” Laura says, while she buries her face in her hands. Carmilla uses the moment to check Laura out. She lets her eyes run over Laura's body, admiring all the seemingly perfect curves and muscles. She's wearing shorts with some kind of blue telephone booths on them and a huge shirt betraying her as a former student of NYU.  “Christ, my head’s throbbing like a bitch.”

Carmilla bites her lip, for some reason the sound of Laura using profanities is doing things to her body. Laura keeps on surprising her. When she first lay eyes on the cute girl, she had made some assumptions that were now proving to be wrong. Laura certainly wasn't as innocent as she seemed. Carmilla is intrigued by that. Very much so. 

“I can leave.” The world leave her mouth of their own accord. She wants to take them back as soon as she hears them resonating through the room. But it's already to late then. Her heart thumps loudly in her chest, while she waits for Laura to acknowledge her words and kick her out. 

But Laura surprises her once more. 

“What?” Laura straightens up abruptly and looks Carmilla dead in the eye. “Why would you? God, I’m such a mess. I didn’t mean… you being here is no inconvenience, not at all. It's just... my father is very, um… nosy. I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

"Me? That's cute, cupcake, but trust me, I have thick skin. You know in your place I'd be more concerned about what he might think about... all of this." She gestures between the both of them and their undressed status. 

"Um, what?"

"Me and you, half naked. In your bedroom. You were very quick to shut the door behind you. You know if you wanted to get me alone all you had to do was ask, cupcake."

Laura bites her lip and starts to pull her tank top down, trying to at least cover up her briefs. Her face is beet red and she is trying very hard not to meet Carmilla's eyes. The even pattern of the hardwood floor suddenly seems to be the most interesting thing ever. 

"Oh." 

"Yeah," Carmilla starts to whisper, "I'm pretty sure he gave me the look just before you closed the door. The if you hurt my daughter, I'm going to hunt you down and make your life miserable look."

"He did not."

Carmilla takes a step towards her reaching for the door. "We can ask him. I'm sure he's-" 

Finally Laura reacts. She shakes her head and leans against the door, so Carmilla has no way of opening it. "Don't."

"Cause you want him to think that?"

"No."

"You do," Carmilla grins. 

Laura's high pitched laugh rings loudly in her ears, while she nervously tears at the fabric of her shirt. "Don't be ridiculous, Carmilla. I don't."

"Oh, but you do. This is brilliant."

"Please, Carmilla. I'll talk to him... just don't."

Seeing and hearing her desperation, Carmilla caves. "Don't worry, cupcake. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I owe you. And if you need me to play the perfect girlfriend, I can do that. But I can also be the friend that's in trouble and is staying here for a couple of days." Carmilla smiles at her, dropping the dallying act for once. She touches her arm reassuringly and watches Laura relax visibly. 

"I... just be a friend, okay? I'll explain everything to him. I don't want him to worry." Carmilla nods and takes a step back, giving Laura some space. "But, you were right about one thing. We should get dressed." 

“I wanted to talk to you about that, actually… I don’t really have anything to dress, other than the clothes from yesterday and they are kind of messed up.” There are still a few drops of blood on her shirt from her split lip. God, she just hopes Laura’s dad hasn’t noticed. But then again, she got beat up yesterday and still looks the part - a few drops of blood won't make a difference. 

“Of course, just take a look at my closet and take whatever you need. I’m just going to grab myself a pair of trousers and try to make myself look at least somewhat presentable.” Carmilla raises her eyebrow; in her mind the other woman is looking very presentable at the moment. More than that actually.

“Thank you, cupcake.”

Laura just smiles at her, and takes her hand to guide her to her wardrobe. Carmilla follows after her, her mind blank. She watches Laura rummage through her things for a moment, quickly finding what she was looking for.  

“Do you want to take a shower as well? I mean, not that you smell bad or anything, I just thought it might be nice to, you know…” Laura rambles. 

“Is this your way of asking me to join you?" 

Laura just stares at her. Her jaw drops after a moment, and she starts to blink furiously. In the blink of an eye her face has turned a deep shade of red. "Um, no - that's not what I, no not at all. I mean-"

"I was only kidding, cutie. I'd love to take a shower."

Carmilla notices how strained Laura's laugh sounds. She needs a second to collect herself, running her hand through her long curls - something Carmilla has seen her do a couple of times now. Finally she lifts her eyes to look at Carmilla. "Very funny." 

Her voice tells her that she doesn't appreciate Carmilla's sense of humor. Carmilla shrugs unable to hide her smile. 

"Even though I was joking, I feel it as my duty to inform you that from a purely economic and ecological standpoint, it would be best to share the shower. At least in theory that halves both the time and the resources, sweetheart. We could do something good here, save the environment and all that."

"Oh, shut up. I know what you're doing."

"Oww, you wound me. I'm only trying to help." Carmilla touches her heart with her right hand, but can't hide the smile on her face. 

"Somehow I don't believe you," Laura says. The smile at each other for a long moment, before Laura nods quickly, rubbing her neck. “Right! I’ll put some towels out for you. Like I said, just choose whatever it is you want to wear.”

Laura darts out of the room. Carmilla softly laughs, while she takes a closer look at Laura's wardrobe. It's going to be a hard pick. Laura's clothes are all very, um... not black and leathery, but it will do for the time being. 


	7. Meeting the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Time to meet Papa Hollis, since we don't know much about him in canon, I took a lot of liberties xD Hope you enjoy the chapter and give [ Sometimes I Like To Lie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxUcmf8PI4o%22) a listen, cause the song is so damn fitting plus his voice is just pure heaven.

She notices the change at once; even though nothing has physically changed, the atmoshpere is just different. Both father and daughter are smiling at her, when she enters the room; Laura even gives her a thumbs up and though Carmilla isn't completely sure what the gesture is supposed to mean, she smiles at her host. The table is set, and Papa Hollis is lifting his cup to take a sip from his coffee; all the while he is watching her over the rim of his cup, his eyes never leaving her figure. Laura motions for her to take a seat next to her, and proceeds to offer her a drink. While Laura is busy brewing some tea, she returns her gaze to Jack. 

Something happened between him and his daughter, while she was having a shower, that much is obvious. The easy smile and pleasantries are gone. Yes, he is still smiling, but there is something hidden in the slight upturn of his lips. Camilla has learned to read situations a long time ago; with the work she was doing, not knowing what her counterpart was thinking and up to, was dangerous. She learned that the hard way. And Jack Hollis opinion of her has most definitely changed over the course of the last minutes; he is weary of her. She wonders why that is, what happened while she was gone? 

“So, Carmilla… how do you know my Laura?”

Papa Hollis sure doesn't waste much time. 

“Um… I-“ she says, before shooting Laura a quick glance since she isn't sure how much she's supposed to tell her dad. They didn't really talk about those very important details, but Laura quickly jumps in.

“She’s a friend of Wilson. That’s how we met.” Laura regards her with a smile that very obviously says not to say anything to him.

“Ah, so you also work on Wall Street?”

“I… no. He dated one of my close friends for some time, and we just continued to hang out even after they broke up. He's a fun guy. It’s never boring, when he’s around.”

“I understand. So, you and Wilson: are you friends or are you, you know-“

“Papa!” Laura interrupts him with a stern glance and a jab of her elbow. “That’s really none of your business.”

Carmilla just laughs, her throat dry. She puts her hand on Laura’s arm. “It’s okay, Laura. We’re friends. He is actually more like a… brother to me.”  She vividly remembers Wilson's finger trying to find a way inside her pants, his teeth biting her lips. Very brotherly, yeah. 

Jack nods.

“Wilson is a good man. Though I have to say I didn’t approve of their friendship at first. He was in a fraternity in college; my Laura and he both attended NYU together. And trust, me as a father that's not the kind of crowd you want your teenage daughter to fraternize with.” Laura watches her father with a stern glance, but doesn’t say anything. She softly shakes her had at his words. “There are so many stories you hear about these fraternity. I think I would have just come and taken you home in the first week, if it wasn't for Danny."

He smiles, seemingly lost in thought. 

"Papa, you told me before."

"Yes, yes, I did. Do you know Danny, Carmilla?"

"Yes, I do."

He nods, taking another bite of his sandwich. 

"She's an astonishing young woman. The youngest female Lieutenant in the long history of the NYPD. I was heartbroken, when you told me she wouldn't be here today, Laura. I always enjoyed these Sundays with just the two of you. Just our little family." Laura grips her coffee cup hard, her knuckles turning white under the pressure. She isn't looking at her father, or Carmilla, but rather staring at her untouched breakfast. Her father doesn't seem to notice, how uncomfortable he is making his own daughter. "How is she?"

“She’s good, papa.”

He nods and takes another bite from his sandwich. Laura keeps on staring at her untouched breakfast like it's the most interesting thing in the world and Carmilla find herself somewhere in the middle between them, feeling out of place.

“She would have been a good-“

“Please don’t, papa. We talked about this before, just leave it be.”

“I’m just looking out for you, pumpkin.”

“I know, but just… don’t. It's my life and my choice.”

"Of course it is, Laura, but I'm your father. It's in my job description to worry about you and worry I do-"

"Can we not do this now, please?"

For the first time since they started their argument, Jack looks at Carmilla. His mouth is pursed and his eyes narrowed, when he regards her. Carmilla gets the feeling that her being here is the sole reason this whole conversation is happening. Jack is putting her in her place, telling her to keep off his precious daughter. She smiles at him. Well, two can play that game. 

"Alright," he teeth-gnashingly agrees. "How was your week, honey?"

They continue talking about their respectable lifes. Carmilla just sits by, listening intently to what they are saying. She still doesn't know much about Laura and if she's going to follow through with her plan, she's going to stay with her for another couple of days. It'd be good to know more about the girl. While she listens in, she consciously moves closer to Laura. She moves her body to the right, so it's facing Laura. She doesn't once let her eyes leave the other girl, while a small smile plays on her lips. She laughs at Laura's comments. She accidentally grazes Laura's arm, when she lifts her arm to sweep a loose strand of her hair out of her face.

Jack Hollis notices. Of course he does, he is her father after all. 

Carmilla steals a piece of bacon off Laura's plate like it's the most normal thing in the world. Laura looks at her for a second, opening her mouth to say something, but just shakes her head and smiles; then she turns towards her dad and tells him some more about her work. Carmilla is surprised to find out that Laura works for some big shot News Network. She anchors a small format weekly newscast and works for the evening news as a commentator. Carmilla's impressed. When Laura told her she was a reporter, she kind of expected her to work at some kind of glossy magazine, sitting in a cubicle all day and writing petty articles. Daddy also offers up some information about himself. He's a politician. _Of fucking course_. He's the mayor of whatever town Laura grew up in. From what she overhears of their conversation she assumes he's held the position for quite some time now. 

Acting nonchalant Carmilla leans back in her seat, and stretches her arms. Coincidentally when she lowers her arms again, the right one ends up resting on the backrest of Laura's seat.  

“What is it that you do?” Jack finally acknowledges her. He sounds somewhat pissed, Carmilla has to fight the urge to smirk at him. That is what he got for screwing with her. He is throwing a pointed stare at her arm that is still comfortably nestled behind Laura. Carmilla doesn't show the slightest inclination to move away. Instead she smiles at Laura and momentarily hesitates, before she answers him. Carmilla Karnstein has been a lot of things in her life, has done a lot of jobs – from a student, to a sales clerk, to a successful business woman, to a florist, to an escort. But none of these fit. 

“I'm between jobs.” It's a phrase, that normally ends the discussion. Everybody knows that you do not want to take about your career choice, when you voice it. You get regarded with a small, maybe pitiful glance, before the topic is changed. She's not trying to impress anybody here; if anything she need Laura to keep feeling sorry for her. Her pride is still hurt, when there is an imperceptible change in Jack's expression. He's been looking for a weak spot and he found it. 

“Ah, what does that mean? Are you looking for a job?”

"I am."

"That's good. Work is important you know, not only to earn money and to be able to afford the lifestyle you want for yourself. No, the work we do defines who we are. Our work gives us direction. Look at Laura for example. Doing what she always wanted to do. Even when she was only a little girl, she used to run around with a huge cassette recorder and interview everybody. At school she edited the student newspaper, when she got older she started her first blog. She was always meant to end up here."

So, he is basically telling her that Laura is too good for her. It's not like Carmilla didn't know beforehand. 

"Papa likes to romanticize things."

"I don't."

"Then why did you omit the part, where they canned me from the student newspaper, because my articles were to... how did they phrase it? Progressive. Yeah, that's it. And the only people that ever read my blogs were you and grandma. And she only read them, because you printed out every article and sent them to her."

Jack laughs heartily. "Still, you worked your whole life to get where you are now. And I'm your father, I'm allowed to skew the truth a bit."

"Is that also in your job description as a father?"

"It might as well be."

Father and daughter smile at each other. No matter the tensions she picked up on between them, they still have something connecting them. Over twenty years of shared memories, stories and feelings. It's hard not to be jealous of the relationship. Carmilla smiles instead, when Laura looks at her, acting like those thoughts never even occurred to her. 

  *~*~*

Laura asked her to come with them just like Carmilla expected her to. She still said no. She isn't used to being living with someone else, to being surrounded by someone all the time. Even after only a couple of hours in Laura's flat she already feels trapped, like the ceiling is slowly collapsing on top of her. She yearns for Mattie to get her out of this damned city. 

Laura being the gracious host that she is tells her she can use whatever she wants. The fridge is more or less full, and she can eat when she's hungry. Laura shows her her extensive videogame collections and explanis to her how the console works. The TV is connected to her Netflix account, in case she feels like watching a movie.  

Carmilla just nods certain she won't use any of that, while Laura goes on and on about what she should watch or play. When they are gone, she picks up a book not really caring what it is about, makes herself comfortable on the sofa and starts reading. After a couple of minutes Laura's annoying kitten, comes wandering into the living room and stops in front of the couch. For a second Carmilla looks up from her book right into the huge, begging eyes of the cat. It's pretty obvious the furball got that look from her owner. Carmilla hisses at the cat, hoping it'll just go away, but no luck. 

Shrugging Carmilla turns back to the book. It's not all that interesting of a read, since she is slowly realizing that the target audience might just be ten years her junior, but still... it's somewhat entertaining. She stumbles over the words, when she hears and feels the cat jumping on the back of the sofa. Sitting up she stares daggers at the stupid little thing. But the kitten just ignores her and lies down next to her legs. Carmilla spents some more time staring at the insolence the cat just displayed, before she accepts her faith and keeps on reading. 

When they come back, it's already late afternoon and Carmilla is halfway through the stupid novel. She isn't even sure, why she kept on reading. The major character is a weird teenage girl with the annoying tendency to meddle in other people's businesses. There is a freaking fire-breather who is very obviously not who he pretends to be and will probably turn out to be the bad guy in the end, though he seems kind of okay. Oh, and there is a crazy aunt and an overprotective father. No, no clichés at all. 

She listens to the sound of the door opening, irregular steps, soft voices and the door getting closed again. Carmilla puts the book down, and turns around so that her back is facing the room. Pretending to be asleep she pulls the blanket up and pretends to be sleeping. She doesn't really want to put up, maybe even start a fight with Laura's father. He'll probably leave sometime soon, if she just pretends to be asleep for the time being, she doesn't have to face him. She doesn't want Laura to kick her out, because she couldn't keep herself from provoking him.  

"Let's go into the kitchen, I don't want to wake Carmilla up," Laura whispers to her dad. Carmilla doesn't move until she is certain that they left the living room. "You want another cup of coffee?", she hears Laura ask. She hasn't closed the door yet, so their voices are still distinctly heard.

"No thank you, honey. I need to get going if I want to get home before the sun sets. There's just one thing I need to ask you, before I-"

"Is this about Danny? I'm sorry, papa, but I'm really tired of arguing with you. I know you like her a lot."

"It's not about her."

"Alright."

"Why don't we sit down for a moment?"

"Papa..."

Nobody talks for a while, there is only the sound of chairs being moved, until Jack clears his throat. 

"Laura, I know we don't talk about this. I know we agreed to just drop it and pretend like nothing happened. You told me you'd stop and I just nodded and pretended that I believed you. But I know... I know that you didn't stop, that you kept investigating." His voice is faint, barely even there. It's a stark contrast to the confidence and determination he showed before. "Please tell me I'm wrong."

“Papa…” Laura starts, the admission of having done whatever her father accused her of evident.

“You promised me, pumpkin. You promised. You said it was time to move on. For both of us.”

“But papa, I found something in the SNN report that...”

“You’ll always find something. And then you dig deeper and deeper, until you bury yourself one day. I don't... I can't lose you, Laura. Not after losing your mother the same way.”

“I'm not-” Laura's voice breaks. “You aren't going to lose me, papa. Nobody even knows what I'm doing.”

“That's not what I am worried about, honey. You are so much like her, it's... disconcerting at times. You have the same passion, the same determination and the same stubbornness she did. And... she lost herself in her work; there were times, when I didn't see her for days. She slept at the office and there were so many nights, when I woke up alone in bed worried sick about her. I don't want that to happen to you... and I'm scared that now that Danny isn't here to keep you from spending all of your time investigating your mother's death-”

“... my mothers murder,” Laura interjects.

“Laura-”

“No, papa. It's all in the papers, it's all there. It wasn't an accident. They buried her – literally. Corvae is a shell corporation. The paperwork, the correspondence with mama's firm, it was all a farce. Why do you think nobody has heard of them again after their fabric blew up?” _Corvae?_  She's heard that name before. Carmilla closes her eyes, picking her brain in an effort to remember where she knows the name from. _Corvae_. 

“Laura...”

“She was getting too close. I don't yet know what it is she was about to uncover, but trust me I'm going to find out. I'm meeting one of the lead-”

“No, you are not. Laura, this needs to stop. There is no big conspiracy, there never was. Accidents happen. People die. She's dead, honey. Nothing we do can change that. We need to accept that your mother, my... my wife is no longer with us. We both need to move on.”

“I can't.”

“Please, Laura.”

“I'm sorry. I really am, papa. I didn't want you to know, not until I have something more tangible, not until I have evidence." There's some commotion in the kitchen. Somebody is walking around the room, taking deep breaths. Trying to make sense of what is happening. "Papa?" 

"That Carmilla girl - she's involved, isn't she?" He sounds pretty agitated. 

"No, dad. She's not."

"I thought we were past the lies. So, who is she? Did she work for them? A former employee gone rogue? She's pretty young to have been working for them back then. So, maybe she saw something she wasn't supposed to and you-"

"She is just a friend."

"Is she?"

"Yes. What more do you want from me, papa?"

"The truth."

"The truth, huh? You sure about that? Do you really want me to tell you that Carmilla and I are in fact not friends? Do you want me to tell you that we are fucking? That we have been for some time. That she is the first woman since Danny that makes me feel like myself again."

_Huh? Well, that was new._

"Laura-"

"No, you wanted the truth. Here is the truth. I lie to you, when I tell you that I'm happy with my job. I hate working for those bloodsucking corporate snakes. I don't even write my own lines. They just give me a prewritten text and I read it off the teleprompter and smile at the camera. That's my job, looking pretty and reading some lines. I lie to you, when I tell you that I am doing well. Because I'm not. I lie in bed at night and cry myself to sleep. I wake up screaming and drenched in sweat, waking up to the image of a building collapsing on top of me. I tried to let her go, papa. I tried, but she won't let me."

Carmilla hears them breathing heavily in the next room. Probably staring at each other, father trying to take in what his daughter just told him and the daughter trying to make him understand. And both failing miserably.

"I that enough truth for you, papa?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack finally asks. "I could have-"

"No, papa. You couldn't have. This is my life now, my choices and my mistakes. I'm not your little, precious baby any longer. I don't need you to help me. I need you to understand, I need you to have my back. I need you to not interfere any longer."

He takes a deep breath. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Believe me I tried to stop. I tried to let it go, to let her go. I really tried, but I can't move on, not when the people responsible for her death are still out there. You are right, I am like her. And she never, never would have allowed the bad guys to get away, when there was something she could do about it." 

"Honey, I know you think you are doing the right thing-"

"Please leave."

"Laura, you can't just-"

"Yes, I can. I'm not angry at you, papa. You know I love you more than anything, but... I can't do this. I just, just need you to leave me alone now."

"Laura..."

" _Please... leave_..."

*~*~*

The flat is silent after the door slams shut. Jack Hollis gathered his things, told his daughter he'd be in touch later the week and left, clearly giving up. Laura hasn't left the kitchen since. Carmilla is still nestled into warm blankets on the couch. The book she'd been reading fell to the floor in the middle of the argument, when Carmilla moved her head off the ugly yellow pillow to follow the conversation more closely. She's still dumbstruck by their argument. Carmilla did have a knack for barging into people's life, when they were at their lowest. Investigating her own mother's death. Carmilla shakes her head. Her cupcake seems to have a lot of fucking baggage. Maybe antagonizing her father hadn't been the best idea after all. But then again, she'd thought he was acting like a prick, because he felt like she wasn't good enough for his precious daughter, that he favored Lieutenant Danny, the perfect fucking daughter-in-law. She now realizes it might have been more than that. 

Of course his first thought had been that the smashed up girl staying with his daughter, a girl he's never once heard about before this day, had to be more than just a friend; that she was involved in Laura's little investigation. He acted out of a need to protect his daughter, rather than mere pettiness. Strangely enough Carmilla can respect that. Laura's still hiding in the kitchen, maybe Carmilla should get her ass over there and check, if her host is doing ok or having a complete breakdown. She hopes it isn't the latter, because she's shit at comforting people. She hasn't been close enough to anybody in so long, that she didn't really know how to take care of anybody else but herself. 

She supports herself by putting some pressure on her abdomen, while she sits up. Still hurts, yeah. Finally upright, she notices Laura's cat is still sleeping at the other end of the couch. She'd completely forgotten about the little stray, that annoyed the fuck out of her before. Trying very hard not to wake it up, she gets up. Who knows what the little devil will do if it wakes up. It might just start to run circles around her again or get the stupid idea that Carmilla enjoyed it rubbing its head against her legs. Because Carmilla doesn't, not at all. Even if the cat is really fucking soft. She succeeds. The cat doesn't notice her leaving. Carmilla picks the book up and puts it on the coffee table, before she stretches a bit. Her neck feels stiff from lying on the hard couch.

She slowly make her way into the kitchen. Laura is standing in front of the sink and seems to be completely out of it. She doesn't notice Carmilla entering the room. 

"Heya cutie," Carmilla greets Laura, and leans against the doorframe. She runs a hand through her hair, trying to appear nonchalant. Laura jumps at the sudden entrance. 

"Jesus, you scared me."

"It's not Jesus but Carmilla, but nice to know that you view me as your savior, cupcake." Laura doesn't even laugh. "No? Not funny? Not even a little bit?"

Laura shakes her head, her long hair swaying with the movement. 

"At least I tried." Carmilla shrugs and takes a step into the room and grabs a dark red apple from the bowl on the table. She hasn't really eaten anything today, but breakfast. She only notices now, how empty her stomach feels. "What'cha doing there?"

"Cleaning."

"Aha." Carmilla takes a bite from the apple, and keeps her eyes on Laura. She's only turned around once to acknowledge her existence, before Laura continued scrubbing the not-very-dirty surface in front of her. "Is this your way of getting your mind of the big fucking face off between you and your dad?" 

"You heard, huh?"

"Everything." 

Laura just nods and continues to scrub the already shining countertops. Carmilla watches her for a moment, frantically trying to clean something that is already, very obviously clean. She sits down at the kitchen table, pulling her legs to her body and leaning on her knees.

"You know I think the kitchen's all clean already."

"I know."

"That mean you can stop, cupcake."

Laura stops scrubbing for a second to take a look at Carmilla, before she just shrugs and continues. Carmilla lets out an exasperated sigh. Ridiculous woman, trying to distract herself with cleaning, when there are more effective ways to do that. She can think of maybe one or two that will leave both of them much more... _satisfied_ than this. She's about to put forward her plan, when she remembers the part of their argument that involved her.

"So... I'm making you feel like yourself, cupcake? Is that so?"

"Ah, you heard that too."

"Imagine my surprise, when I hear you telling your father that we, you know _you and me_ , have been fucking for quite some time now. Scandalous really." 

Laura sighs, before she puts down the cleaning rag and turns around. Carmilla feels a weird sensation running down her back. Laura looks different; her face is hard, her gentle features seem frozen in place. Yeah, so maybe she's not doing so well. Carmilla casts a quick glance at the door, maybe it isn't to late to just... make a quick exit. 

"Don't act so innocent now, _cutie,"_ Laura imitates Carmilla's sultry voice - failing miserably of course. Carmilla blinks at her, so she wasn't expecting that. With another sigh Laura sits down opposite her. "You were trying to aggravate my father by acting all lovey-dovey, touching me _by accident_ , staring at me. Don't think I haven't noticed."

For a moment Carmilla is caught of guard, she catches herself quickly though. Carmilla leans forward, propping her arms on the table and leaning on them, effectively minimizing the distance between Laura and her. She raises her eyebrows and can't keep the smirk of her face. "What makes you think I was acting?"

Laura just sighs again and raises an eyebrow. "Why do you always do that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, cupcake."

"Flirting. Saying stuff like that, making it seem like you care. "

"Maybe I do care, maybe I like you," she grins. 

She watches the subtle change in Laura's face. Her mouth is still pressed in a thin line, but her eyes, oh her eyes they say a lot more than her mouth ever could. She's feeling _something_ , something very intense. Carmilla can't really place it, but it feels like Laura is fighting against it; her whole face tenses up, while all Carmilla has to do is look at her eyes to know, that there was _something_. 

Carmilla's heart picks up its pace. Laura chuckles breathlessly, she doesn't even sound like the person she meet a day ago any more. Carmilla is not sure what is happening, what got into the other girl. She seems darker, another mirthless chuckle escaping her lips. 

"Maybe I like you too." This time it is Laura that smirks at her; she leans forward imitating Carmilla's posture. And of course Carmilla notices the way Laura's eyes dart from her eyes, to her mouth, to her eyes, back to her mouth. It'd be hard not to. Laura is not very inconspicuous. For a moment, Carmilla hesitates, Mattie's warning to not get to close ringing in her ears, but then all she can think about is how much she'd like to kiss the other girl. How much she needs to not think for at least a couple of hours. How much she longs for somebody to make her forget how shitty her life is. 

She leans forward, watching Laura intently. Her eyes are glued to her mouth, she feels the heart radiating off Laura's face, feels her own hand move up to cup Laura's cheek, when she she only grasps air. She blinks. Laura's moved back, not by much, but still... clearly rejecting her advances. 

"What are you doing?" Carmilla asks desperation dripping in her voice. She needs to get her shit together, she's the one in power not the other way around. Laura's still so close, so very close. Carmilla watches her mouth turn into one of those pretty little half smiles again, daring her to try to kiss her again. Damn her. Suddenly Laura's hand is in her hair, running her fingers over her head, angling their faces even closer to each other.

Carmilla wets her lips in anticipation of what's about to happen.

"What am _I_ doing?" Laura asks, her voice pure heaven. She seems lost in her own words, her own question for a moment. Laura's eyes flutter shut, while her fingers massage Carmilla' scalp sending shivers through her body. Carmilla feels her breath on her skin. Feels her words in the vibration of the air. Laura leans forwards, her lips ghosting over Carmilla's cheeks. Carmilla closes her eyes, feeling her heart beat furiously. If she'd be able to form a clear thought, she'd be pretty impressed by Laura's ability to make her go weak in her knees. But for now all she can do is wait for Laura to take the first step, to finally close the ridiculous distance between them. "I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine, _cupcake_..."

And she's gone. The warmth, the hand, the proximity, all gone in the blink of an eye. 

Oh. _Oh_. Oh!

Carmilla leans back, and tries to get her body to understand, what her mind understood long before. Laura's playing her, turning the tables for once. It's been quite some time since she's been so intrigued, so attracted to somebody, that she allowed them to have so much power over her. Dangerous. She doesn't like it.

"Well played," Carmilla finally concedes. 

"Oh, don't be a sore loser now. I expected more of you." Laura seems so fucking happy, it annoys Carmilla. She keeps grinning like a maniac, while Carmilla can't bring herself to meet the other girl's eyes. She isn't used to being played. She isn't used to people affecting her. "You know, that bunched up little face you make when you're angry is hilarious, b _uttercup_ ," Laura taunts her and leans against her seat, looking triumphantly at Carmilla. 

Against her better judgment, Carmilla is impressed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I would love to read your thoughts on what is happening! Oh, and the next chapter we'll finally see what happened to Lilita, really excited about that! Again, thanks so much for your lovely feedback and kudos.


	8. Bargains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! This chapter has been a lot of fun to write. I feel like we are slowly moving on from the exposition and prelude to the real stuff. Some questions might be answered, but I guess there are many more that arise. Bear with me, I want to do this right. So without further ado, have fun and do leave a comment if you have the time! 
> 
> TW: emotional blackmail, mentions of suicide and death.

Agent Perry drops the folder on the bare table in front of Lilita. About time that someone finally decided too grace Lilita with their presence; after spending nearly an hour in the clinical interrogation room, even Lilita Morgan started to feel anxious. She had been adamant about seeing her lawyer, when they first put her in the room, but nobody had bothered to tell her anything up until now. 

„Excuse me for taking so long.“ The agent smiles at her; she seems confident, too confident. Lilita clenches her hands; her finger nails violently pinching her flesh. „We had to follow up a lead.”

“I hope you are aware that you are not going to achieve anything by detaining me.” Lilita lets her eyes wanders around the small room to emphasize her statement. They are holding her in a small interrogation room, bare except for the table and two chairs. “Where is my lawyer?”

“Going through some paperwork.”

“Right,” Lilita scoffs and leans back in her seat. “I am not saying anything, before he arrives.”

“As is you constitutional right, Lilita. I don’t need you to say anything anyway. I’m going to do the talking, and you can just listen. I'm just here to keep you company until your lawyer is finished with the paperwork." Agent Perry's perfectly manicured fingers move over the dark blue folder in front of her, with a swift movement she opens it. Her fingers run over words Lilita can't make out from where she is sitting. "You have quite the family history, don’t you?”

Agent Perry pulls the folder closer to her, seemingly engaged by what she is reading. She runs her slender fingers over the ink tracing the letters. “I can only imagine what it must have been like for Charlotte growing up... a father that was always gone, a mother that never loved anybody but herself, a big brother that never knew the meaning of the word love and no other family to speak of. No role models, no one to look up to. No wonder you daughter turned out the way she did.”

“You don’t know anything about my family or me.” Lilita knows exactly what the agent is doing, luring her in. Trying to trap her in whatever elaborate plan she hatched out. And she's falling for it, giving her exactly what she wants. Taking a deep breath Lilita tries to eliminate every sign of emotion from her face; she needs to remind herself that they have nothing on her. As long as she keeps silent, as long as she doesn't slip, they have nothing. 

“But I do, Lilita, I do. Everything is in here,” she points at the folder on the table and smirks again. Lilita has to physically restrain herself from reaching out. “Everything, from the illegal empire your father build, to the crimes that landed your own mother in prison. All the charges against you are in there as well, all dropped of course… of course, but your own children, they are not as smart and cunning as their mother, are they now?”

Lilita feels her stomach clench.

“No, they take after their father. Your late husband… he was special as well, wasn’t he? I hear it was quite the whirlwind romance you found yourself in, Lilita. He offered you so much, didn’t he? An out. A way to escape your own family. And money, so much money. How could you ever say no? And he was so easily captured by your good looks and your charm. I wonder how long it took him to realize that you never loved him. Months, years or did he actually die thinking his wife loved him as much as he loved you?"

She takes another picture out of the folder and turns it around. Lilita recognized him at once, there aren’t many nights that go by without her waking up drenched in sweat, his face haunting her dreams. He is so young in the photograph, so innocent, so beautiful. 

“William, a cute boy indeed. He looks just like his father, doesn’t he? Shame really that he never got a chance to break all the girl’s hearts, they would have loved him. Look at that smile, so much spirit, so much hope, so much love. I wonder when exactly that changed. As his mother you should have noticed... but then again, you have never been much of a mother to either of your children. You never noticed... anything. I read all the reports, the signs were there. You should have noticed, you should have seen what he was about to do... You killed him. You might not have pulled the trigger yourself, but everything you did, every mistake you made, your failure as a parent... it all culminated in this one moment," Agent Perry says her voice stone cold.

"One bullet, one shot."

Her palm violently connects to the table, a loud bang resonating in the room. Lilita can't help but wince at the sudden sound.

"And it wasn't only your negligence that made him snap. No... I wonder, when was the first time little William held a gun in his hands? When was the first time he fired a weapon? When did your husband start taking this little, innocent kid with him? How old was he, when he made his first kill? Was it a deer? Or a cute, little fox that your son only knew from his children's books? You and your husband taught him how to shoot, how to kill... and then you act surprised, when he does." Perry laughs, deep and dark. "You manufacture these weapons, you produce the bullets for one purpose only... to kill. But you never once believed that one of those could be fired so close to your own heart. Killing your own flesh and blood." 

The agent shakes her head. The photograph is still on the table in front of her; Lilita is drawn to it like a moth to the flame. Her eyes are glued to his face. She wants to do nothing more than run her fingers through his soft hair once more, to see him smile, to watch his eyes dance with happiness. 

Perry takes a sip from her cup, letting the silence between them grow longer and longer.

“And then there is… Charlotte. Charlotte Morgan, she was such a cute and shy little girl. Always trying to fit in, always in need of love and appreciation from you. It is funny how loss changes us. How it can make us hate the person we once loved.”

“You don’t know anything," Lilita finally says. 

“Oh, but I do. I know everything, Lilita. I have been following your daughter for two and a half years now. She’s so grown up now. There isn’t much left of the frightened young girl that ran away from home. No, I have seen things; heard things… she’s been keeping herself busy. You know what she does for a living, don't you? I know that you kept tabs on my department all these years. I knew, but I never cared. I know your daughter better than anybody in the world. The reason I never cared about you before, is that _she_ doesn't. She doesn't care about you. Whatever love she might've felt for you is long gone. 

"But her father... she never stopped loving him. I should have known better. I should have known she'd come to his funeral. I should have known she'd never stop loving him. But I didn't; I failed to catch her, when she was the most vulnerable. Though now that you are in the picture we can help each other. Charlotte doesn't love you. And I know the only reason you started looking for her again is money. I know that while you might pretend that you long to see her again, that you love your daughter; we both know you never did. It was always William. Even after…”

“Don’t.”

“And why not? A mother’s love is unconditional; you love your child no matter what they do. That’s the romantic idea at least. I don’t know if you have guessed yet, but I don’t believe in romance. You did what you had to do; you had to, I understand that, but in the end you were just like every other mother. Your grief showed in a different way though." 

Lilita doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I know about the clause your husband left in his will. I know that the company you helped build out of nothing, the company you call your own is basically left without any opportunity for action until your daughter signs the papers.”

“How do you…” she starts unable to hide her surprise any longer.

“Oh, Lilita. This is no petty police department, we do our homework. I know everything about your affairs. I know that your late husband wanted nothing more than to have his daughter back in his life. And even in his death, he won’t forsake this quest. And I know that you want your company back, no matter the cost.”

Lilita swallows down her anger, swallows down the words at the tip of her tongue. She closes her eyes for a second, silently asking for forgiveness, before she meets the agents gaze.

“Well, Lola,” she starts, “what is it that you need me to do?”

*~*~*

Closing her eyes, Carmilla runs her fingers over her body. Unable to take the sight of the bruises any longer, she leans her head against the cold surface of the human sized mirror in front of her. She takes a deep breath, cringing from the sharp pain, when her thorax contracts with every intake. She runs her fingers over her rib cage, softly pressing and squeezing. The skin under her fingers has turned a deep shade of blue, dissolving into a dark purple, but bruises will fade. They always do. They always did. She squeezes some ointment into her hand, rubbing soothing circles unto her skin. 

"Carmilla?" Laura shouts from the other side of the door. 

"Yeah?"

"You know, I don't want to stress you... but I kind of need to get going, so- um..."

"I'll be out in a minute, cupcake."

Her hair is mostly dry after blow drying it for what felt like forever. She quickly dresses herself in the already laid out clothes. She is wearing her own pants again, and another shirt of Laura's. It's plain black with a huge logo on the front. It's probably either out of some TV show or a video game; Laura seems to love both equally. She runs her hand through her hair not really happy with how she looks. She used Laura's make up to hide the bruises on her face, but she did a poor job of it. The skin around her left eye is still swollen and discolored - even though she put on an unhealthy amount of concealer. 

She sighs hoping it will do. 

She doesn't want to scare the boy by looking roughed up. He deserves better than that.

With another glance in the mirror, she turns around and gets out of the bathroom. They are already late. Carmilla took her time in the shower; she relished the feeling of the hot water comforting her body. She just couldn't make herself to get out any sooner. When Carmilla finally exits the bathroom, Laura is already dressed in her coat and has a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. Carmilla might feel bad for taking so long, if the shower hadn't been so damn good.

"All done, cupcake," Carmilla smiles at her. 

Laura takes a quick glance at her wrist watch, but returns the smile. 

"I don't mean to pressure you... it's just- I still need to prepare and we are filming the first segment at ten." 

They never talked about what had happened yesterday. After their near-kiss Laura just up and left and disappeared into her bedroom. Fifteen minutes later she emerged again her eyes still puffy and red and started cooking dinner for the two of them. Carmilla knew better than to say anything. In silence they prepared the food; surprisingly Carmilla didn't once feel the need to say something, normally she hated the silence, she hated the awkward little moments, when nobody knew exactly what to say. Instead it felt kind of nice to work together with Laura; Laura kept on passing her various vegetables she didn't even know the names of and she just cut them into small pieces. Carmilla didn't even know what they were cooking until Laura served the vegetable stew.

After the dinner they relocated to the living room.

Again there wasn't much talking happening. Laura grabbed her controller and started some video game Carmilla had never heard of, and Carmilla returned to her reading. This was how they spent the evening until it was time to go to bed. Laura had told her she needed to leave for work at eight o'clock and Carmilla just nodded explaining that she was going to visit a friend to help her out. Laura didn't ask. 

She was a bit more talkative this morning. They had breakfast together and Laura told her about her plan for the day, about the work she was doing at the studio. She never once mentioned her father or what they argued about again. 

Carmilla quickly puts on her shoes and her jacket. Laura seems pretty stressed out by something, but she doesn't ask. In the short time they spent together they made it a habit not to talk. About anything important that is. Laura locks the door after them and they start their decent down the stairwell.

"You should really make your landlord install an elevator in here."

Laura shrugs.

"I don't get much exercise these days; I think if I didn't take the stairs at least twice a day I'd blow up like a balloon."

Carmilla remembers how much Laura had eaten all the times they ate together. It was surprising she looked the way she did with the amount of food she kept on shoveling into her mouth. 

"Maybe you should just, you know eat less," Carmilla smirks.

Laura gives her a playful shove and Carmilla runs into the wall. She bites her lip, because her arm pressed against the tender skin of her middle. It hurts like hell, but she still manages a smile. Laura doesn't notice. They continue their way down in silence. Laura holds the door opens or Carmilla, when they are on the main floor. Carmilla follows Laura to the subway station; she doesn't need the train to get to Ethan, but she told Laura she'd walk her to the station. 

They walk side by side occasionally brushing against each other.

Camilla watches Laura. Her host is bothered by something, that much is certain. She keeps on opening her mouth, but closing it again quickly. She shoots hidden glances at Carmilla, which the brunette notices of course. 

"Where are you going?" Laura hesitantly asks. She hasn't asked before; she just nodded, when Carmilla had told her she needed to go and visit somebody today. Carmilla had been surprised by Laura's restraint, the girl seemed like somebody who couldn't keep her nose out of other people's business, still she didn't bother her about who she was meeting and where she was going. 

"My cousin, he lives in the city... I need somebody to help me get my stuff back, there are still some things left at our flat that have... a lot of sentimental value to me. And I can't stay with you forever... I wanted to ask him if-"

"You're welcome to stay as long as you want," Laura interrupts without meeting her eyes. She stares at the sidewalk beneath their feet and kicks at a pebble in front of her. She watches it roll away and nearly hits an elderly lady.

"That's generous, but..."

"No, I'm serious. You said, you said he'd find you at your friend's houses, that's why you came to me, right? You're safe with me."

"I appreciate that, I do, cupcake. And I'm only going there to talk to him, to try to find a solution. I'm not leaving just yet. You promised met the best homemade pizza I have ever eaten for tonight, or did you forget? I wouldn't miss that for the world."

Laura grins, before turning serious again.  

"You are not going back to _him_ , are you?" Laura asks biting her lip.

"Fuck no."

Laura tries a smile, but falls short. They are nearing the entrance to the subway. Carmilla notices how Laura slowed down more and more the closer they came to the station. If they were to walk any slower, they'd be standing still. 

"I guess this is where our paths separate."

"Not for long, sweetheart."

Laura hands her a card with a number scribbled on the back. "That's the address of the studio. I'm schedule for another interview at four, so I won't be home until six or seven I guess. You can just come by or give me a call - my number's on the back - when you're finished. Is there anything else I can do to-"

"I'll be fine."

"Alright, so..." 

Laura makes some weird gestures with her hand. It looks like she wants to shake Carmilla's hand, but isn't sure if it is appropriate to. She leans forward as if she wants to hug Carmilla, but takes a quick step back. Carmilla can't keep the smirk off her face. Without giving it much thought she hugs Laura tightly. It is nothing more than a friendly gesture, a goodbye. 

"Bye, cupcake. Have fun at work."

Another smile, before she turns to leave. Laura is still rooted to the spot.  

"Hey, wait!"

Laura is suddenly behind her and just as Carmilla turns around, a small hand clasps around her wrist. She doesn't loose her hold, even when Carmilla has turned around and their bodies are only divided by a thin layer of air. Again they are to close to each other for Carmilla to form any other thought than how soft Laura's lips must feel under hers. For a moment everything around her disappears and all she feels and thinks about is the tiny, blonde woman in front of her. 

Laura is watching her intently, her eyes seem more intense than they normally do.

"You are not going to disappear on me again, are you?"

Carmilla shakes her head, unable to do anything else. She must be a witch. That's it. There is no other, reasonably explanation for the hold that the woman has on her. She must have her under some sort of spell that makes her go weak and behave like an idiot. A witch, yeah that must be it. 

"You promise?" Carmilla just nods. "Good, because I'm not done with you."

_Whatever the fuck is that supposed to mean?_

But Laura just lets go of her arm, leans forward gives her a small peck on the cheek and rushes off. Carmilla is left standing in front of the subway station staring after her. She shakes her head a few times, before she turns around and walks in the opposite direction. 

 *~*~*

“I am here to see Ethan. Ethan LaFontaine,” she smiles at the receptionist. A young woman she has never seen before. The woman returns her smile, before looking down at some papers. Carmilla isn’t really sure what exactly she is looking for, since there are never more than dozen kids at the hospice, so she must know Ethan. And Ethan has been here for some time now; she reckons everybody that works here must know the little troublemaker.  

“Right, and who are you? Family?”

“I have been here before, but it has been some time. Claire LaFontaine, I’m his cousin.”

"Ah." Again the girl looks down at the papers, scrunching up her nose in the process. "Oh, here you are, Ms. LaFontaine. Ethan just had breakfast, he is in the common room now. Would you like me to take you there?" 

"Yes, please."

Her last visit was almost a year ago, even though she does remember the basic layout of the building, she can't exactly recall where the common room was. The woman gets up and gestures for Carmilla to follow her. She guides her through the eerily silent corridors of the hospice. She hears them, before she is able to see them. Loud laughter cuts through the silence and she hears hushed voices arguing about something. 

"In here." the woman opens a door and takes a step back to allow Carmilla to enter. She remember the common room for the older kids. Every room in the hospice has a special theme, this one is the _The Little Prince_  room. There are pictures and drawing of the children's story on the otherwise plain, white walls. Ethan loved the story of the little prince and his adventures; Carmilla remembers reading the story to him again and again, when she visited. 

There are a couple of kids in here. In the back of the room a young girl is lying on a portable bed. She is connected to a drip and another huge machine that is attached to the bed. The girl doesn't turn, when they enter. Her body is hidden beneath a white blanket and her head is hanging down. Carmilla doesn't remember her, but then again most kids don't survive as long as Ethan did. She tries to break away from the feeble body of the girl, but somehow her eyes are glued to her. 

Suddenly a heavy body slams into her. Carmilla looks down and recognizes the red mane at once. She hugs him tightly, ignoring the pain in her abdomen, when he pushes further into her. Carmilla loosens his hold to get down on her knees and be able to hug him properly.  

“I missed you,” he whispers against her neck and she runs a hand through his hair.

Her mouth turns into a smile. 

“I missed you too, little man."

He loosens his hold on her, and laughs in a way only children do. Even though he is living in a place where people go to die, even though he loses friends on a regular basis, even though he knows that his body can only take so much, before it yields, he still laughs. The laugh echoes in the room, Carmilla spots a nurse she remembers behind Ethan and waves at him. The man nods at her and smiles.

"LaF told me you had to go away for work."

"They are right. I've been all over the country giving lectures about the business logic of sustainability to bored college students. And sadly I'm only here for the day," she lies without once stumbling over her words. Ethan seems sad for a moment, but quickly catches himself. 

"But you are here now."

"That I am."

"Come on." Ethan takes her hand and guides her towards where he was previously sitting. The table the male nurse is sitting at. 

"Hey Claire, nice to see you again," the nurse greets her. She is surprised that he still remembers her name. She can't recall his name though; she knows that he was from some Scandinavian country. They had talked a lot, when she visited last. 

"Um, hi! Nice to see you again..."

"Olaf," he helps her out. 

"Like the snowman from Frozen," Ethan remarks with a huge smile. "Can you sing the song again, Olaf?"

"Sorry not today, sweetheart," Olaf says. Ethan pouts not used to somebody denying his wishes. Olaf points at the table in front of him and gets up from his stool. "But maybe you can show your cousin the drawings we just made. How does that sound?"

"I'd love to see them, honey," Carmilla quickly says and Ethan beams at her. He takes her hand and makes her sit down with him. Over his shoulder Carmilla watches Olaf mouth a thank you to her, before he walks over to one of the other kids. Ethan doesn't waste any time, he starts explaining the drawings to her. He is actually a rather good artist, for an eleven year old kid that is. Most of the drawings are of his family, but there are some fairy-tale drawings and Disney characters in there as well.

Carmilla takes the jacket off and puts it over the backrest of the chair. When Ethan looks up from his drawings he stares at her and his mouth falls open.  

"Oh, it's Captain America!"

"Huh?"

_Captain... what?_  

"Your shirt, it's Captain America. He is like the coolest Avenger of all of them."

"Really? I didn't even know."

"You are silly," he says in a scolding voice. Ethan is shaking his head. "He has this shield, that is like indestructible. And he is super strong, and super fast. I like him a lot, he is super cool.  Why do you wear the shirt, when you don't know Cap?"

"A friend gave it to me." 

Ethan just nods apparently content with her answer. 

"I have a drawing of them as well..." he trails of and rummages through the stack of drawings in front of him. When he finally finds the one he is looking for, he starts explaining what and who the Avengers are, who this Captain America is, and gives her an extensive biographical background of every character. And there are a lot of them. Carmilla just listens smiling at his enthusiasm. She really did miss him. A lot. 

Her life is very stressful and exhausting at times; it just feels good to listen to the young kid and for once feel like everything is going to be ok. After nearly an hour of listening she is an expert on the Avengers and probably every Marvel superhero that exists. Ethan has shown her his comic books collection, told her everything about his favorite characters, made her sit still so he could draw her. The morning was more fun than she'd had in a long fucking time. 

She knew their time together was slowly coming to an end, when he yawned loudly and Olaf started to bring the first kids back to their respectable rooms for their midday sleep. She remembers the reason she came her and takes a deep breathe, before she starts talking.  

“I need you to do me a favor, sweetheart.”

“Everything.”

This short, simple word makes her tear up. He didn't hesitate one second, there was no indecision in his voice; he'd do whatever she asked him to do. Ethan is probably the only person in this world that loves her unconditionally. The only other person besides Mattie that gives a damn about her. He looks at her like she is the most precious thing in his life.

Again she hugs him tightly; promising herself to not let a year pass before they meet again after this. 


	9. Face to Face

Carmilla steps outside of the clinic after she helped Olaf get the little boy into bed. Ethan was reluctant to go to sleep. He kept on whining and insisting they'd sing a song to him. After a couple of minutes Olaf finally gave in and started humming a cute tune Carmilla had never heard off. He wanted her to join in, but the brunette just shrugged and explained she didn't know the song. 

There is a huge garden behind the clinic. Carmilla has found herself there quite often, when visiting Ethan had been a regular occurrence. She sits down on a bench opposite of a small pond. She leans against the backrest and wraps her arms around herself. Even though the sun is occasionally breaking through the thick clouds, she feels cold.  

"Hey," Olaf greets her, when joins her in the garden. Carmilla smiles at him and gestures for him to take a seat next to her. "The little ones are all fed and in bed."

He sits down, rummages in his jeans pockets and gets out a pack of cigarettes. 

"Some things just don't change," he grins as he lights up the cigarette and takes a drag. Carmilla nods remembering days like this, when she had stayed in New York a year before. They had made a habit out of this; it almost feels like a lifetime ago now. "How are you holding up, sweetheart?"

She shared some things with Olaf; things she normally didn't tell people. Things about her past, things she usually kept hidden under layers of different personalities and various lies. Truths she should have never laid bare before him.

"My dad died," she surprises herself by saying.

"Shit, that's rough." He exhales a puff of smoke and puts a hand on her upper arm rubbing soothing circles onto her skin. "You ever had the chance to talk to him about everything and make up?"

Carmilla shakes her head, and feels tears well up in her eyes. 

She had told Olaf about the falling out with her parents, she had told him about running away and never looking back, she had told him how much she missed her father. She had many regrets, but that her father died before she ever got the chance to tell him how much he still meant to her, was the worst of them all. 

"Come here," Olaf says and pulls her close. Carmilla wraps an arm around his upper body and leans against his chest. She takes a deep breath that comes out strangled. Olaf holds her close, his arms wrapped around her petite figure. Carmilla can hear his steady heart beat through his shirt that is in stark contrast to the wacky stunts her own heart is pulling at the moment. It helps to be so close to somebody else. She closes her eyes and breathes his scent in the sweet odor of his perfume clouding her senses. 

She moves her body towards him until they are close enough to be one. He just holds her and let her ruin his probably quite expensive polo shirt with her tears. 

After a couple of minutes she moves her head from his chest to meet his eyes. His kind loving eyes. He smiles at her and pushes a strand of her out of her face. Without wasting another second Carmilla closes the distance between them and presses her lips against his in what can only be described as a desperate search for some intimacy. She moves her hand to the back of his head and pulls him towards her. She hates the taste of cheap cigarettes on his lips, but it doesn't matter. 

His lips are rigid under hers. 

"Claire, _stop_ ," he whispers against her lips. Carmilla instantly moves away. She jumps up, nearly toppling over from the sudden movement and takes a few steps back. This has never happened to her before. Never. Olaf is looking at her with wide eyes. 

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know-" Carmilla starts unable to explain what came over her.

"Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. It's just... my boyfriend doesn't really like me kissing anybody else, you know?" He laughs and pulls her back onto the bench. "Come back here, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong, okay? I'm here for you."

She tries to smile at his kindness, but instead she finds herself pressed against Olaf's chest crying silent tears into his shirt once again. He holds her and rubs soothing patterns on her back. He's good at this; making her feel like this isn't the end, like there is some light at the end of the tunnel. They remain like that for some time. It's Olaf who breaks the silence.  

"What happened to your face, sweetheart? Is somebody hurting you?" The friendly and kind expression disappears from his face, instead Carmilla looks at somebody that would most likely beat Theo up, if she ever told him about what transpired between the two of them. "I know some guys that-"

"No, it's okay. It was my fault."

"Look at me, Claire. It is never your fault, you understand that. No matter what you did-" 

"Good morning," a sharp voice interrupts their conversation. Carmilla looks up and can't help but feel a teeny tiny bit intimidated by the look on LaFontaine's face. They are furious. "Olaf, I need to talk to _Claire_. In private."

"Um, right. Are you alright on your own, sweetheart?" he asks Carmilla. 

He looks from one to the other. They are both not paying any attention to him any longer; Carmilla gets up and quickly wipes her eyes to make the the tear stains disappear. She nods at the nurse and he scurries off after giving her hand another short squeeze. Carmilla is pretty sure he'll watch them from one of the windows on the upper floor. 

Once he is gone LaFontaine takes a few steps towards her until they are face to face. Carmilla has just opened her mouth to start to explain, when LaFontaine hits her in the face. _Hard_. Carmilla winces in pain and stumbles a few steps back. Her cheek is still aching from the beating and of fucking course that is exactly where they choose to hit her. She moves her hand to her face to shield it from another attack. 

"I guess I deserved that."

"Like hell you did. I'm not really sure what goes through that crazy, disgusting mind of yours, but coming here, involving my brother, when Lola is so fucking close to catching you. I was so, so close to just telling her everything."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, you don't know what I'm capable of, Morgan. God, I'm so sick of your shit, I'm sick of protecting you. I'm sick of cleaning up your fuck ups time after time."

"That was only the second time that-"

"Oh, only the second time, well excuse me for not jumping with joy, when you get us so close to getting caught. Twice. We had a deal..."

"A deal?" Carmilla interrupts them. "You were trying to blackmail me for fucks sake. You tried, but I outsmarted you and then... only then did we strike a deal. And I've held up my end of the bargain-"

"You put him in danger."

"Nobody knows I'm here," she tries to tell them. 

LaFontaine laugh darkly, their voice is shrill in Carmilla's ears, before they take another step forward, but Carmilla stands her ground. They are close enough to breathe the same air. 

"You don't even know... you want to know who lead us to your car? Your mother. It was her, she found your car. It only took her days, she followed your trail after your father's funeral. She wants to find you and she's not going to stop. We both know what kind of a woman she is. I can't- I won't have you putting my brother in danger. "

Carmilla didn't expect that. Her throat suddenly feels constricted and it gets hard to breathe. 

"My, my mother... what does she want?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I only ever wanted to keep Ethan safe. And your mother... she's- if she ever found out about him, about my involvement, she'd... she'd-"

"I'm not going to let that happen. I care about him to, you know."

Carmilla puts a hand on LaFontaine's arm. Her hand lingers on their arm for a second, before LaFontaine moves away; they shake their head softly, but their eyes have lost their edge. 

"He's all I have left."

"I know."

Lafontaine takes deep breath and makes a decision. 

"Whatever it is, you called me here for, I'm going to help you. One last time, but then, then you are gone. You are never coming back."

"I won't."

LaFontaine nods their head. "Never. I do this last thing for you and you leave us alone. You don't come back. Ever. You disappear."

Carmilla knew that they wouldn't help her for nothing; she knew that they'd have a price. And leaving doesn't sound so bad after all the shit she'd seen and done in this city. She was planning on going far, far away anyway. There was nothing keeping her here; nothing worth staying for. 

She nods, before telling them exactly what she needs.

~*~*~

She doesn't go to the Laura's workplace right away. She gets herself a brand new phone - brand new might be a bit of a stretch. It's one of the antique ones that you get for ten bucks and that will impress nobody. She sends Mattie a quick text, before she decides to at least get some clothes from the thrift store next door. LaFontaine had reluctantly given her the money she needed to survive the next few days. 

 **Mattie (12:34)** : Got everything set up. It will take me a few days to get to you though, hubby is suspicious, give me a few days to appease him. You had any problems?

She feels her heart drop. Another few days. This wasn't good; not when her mother was in town and hellbent on finding her. She wasn't afraid of the Feds; yes, they nearly caught her a the few times, but that was her own fault. Those federal imbeciles are no match for her, but her mother... Carmilla trembles. That woman knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. And she knows _everybody_.

If Lilita is looking for her, she needs to get as far away from here as possible.

The question that still lingers, is why. Why is she looking for her? After all those years, why now? She never once heard a word from either of her parents. She had even believed her mother to be happy that she was gone. She'd never been anything but a nuisance to the woman. She must have been jumping for joy, when she found out that Carmilla was missing. She wasn't working for the FBI, there was no way her mother would ever make a deal with them. So she wanted something from her, Carmilla can't even imagine what that might be. 

She turns the card that Laura gave to her around. The studio is basically on the other side of town, it will take her some time to get there. Putting the card in her pocket and pulling on the straps of the second hand backpack she also bought, she starts to make her way to the studio. It doesn't rain for a change; she takes her time to get there even stopping to get both of them a cup of coffee, before she enters the building.

The receptionist tells her to take the elevator to the eighth level. 

When she steps out of the elevator, she almost runs into a fully suited up guy. He only looks at her shortly, before entering the elevator. Carmilla doesn't find Laura's office at once, she'd asked a cute girl - probably an intern judging by her age - where she could find Laura Hollis' office and the girl only pointed down the corridor. When she finds it, she knocks hesitantly at the door with Laura's name on it in bronze letters. An indistinct voice tells her to come on in. Carmilla pushes the door open with her free hand and smiles at Laura who is sitting behind a huge desk and nearly disappears behind piles of files and books. 

"Carmilla," Laura exclaims the surprise apparent on her face. "You came."

"Of course I did, cupcake, and I even brought you coffee."

Carmilla holds her hand up, showing her the two cups of coffee on the small plate.

"Oh my God, thank you. You are my favorite person in the whole world right now." Laura quickly gets up rushes forward to take the cup Carmilla hands to her. She takes a sip and her eyes flutter close. "I so needed that."

"Glad you like it. I wasn't sure how you like it, but I had a hunch that you'd like with loads of cream and sugar."

Laura leans against the table behind her and gestures for Carmilla to sit. Carmilla does so, and takes a sip from her own drink. 

Laura turns the cup in her hands and takes a moment to read the scribbled name on the paper cup. It's not a name per se, instead the inscription reads " _for_   _the most beautiful woman in the world_ ". She looks up at Carmilla. "You got their phone number a well?"

"Whose?"

"The barista, they wrote..."

"Oh, _that_ ," Carmilla grins. "I asked her to write that."

"You... _oh_."


End file.
